59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30
 

1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his "unit" his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

Christ, I feel soooo old after reading that.

uh oh... what happens if I do those things?

It's not WHAT you do, it's HOW you do it.

And I fucking LIKE extra sprinkles bitch.

;-)

that is too funny

I just purchased a personal plate. I'm not telling anyone what it is until I can post pictures.

guess ill never get to ride a pony

fuck that

Strongly agree with the above statement but the rest of that clearly doesn't apply to anyone that I know lol

Oh 30 isn't old!

I'm 31...and I feel old.

I am an unreformed air drummer and I have organized more than one party bus in the recent past. I'm not 30 yet, so maybe it is okay, but I can't see changing those things. Honestly, I think only guys older than 30 mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On" now. Nothing wrong with that.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

lmfaooooooooo

i also know someone that wanted to splits kings once:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

AND I drew Queen, Ace.

And WHO was laughing then tough retired guy.

:winkwink: :thumbsup :1orglaugh :pimp

haha damn

lol good list.

Damn, I have blown about half that list off this year alone.

42 is the new 30.

Shit i just realized I'm addicted to gambling.

The only one I took offense to was the hit a 13 against a 6 :Oh crap

.

:anon




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I need to print this list and show it to some of my buddies.

'Cause they are in serious violation. ;)

30 is the new 50. Shit.... wait, that's wrong :Oh crap

Wear Disney-themed neckties. And what about the underwear. I like when a man is wearing such underwear

hey.. what's up, you whore!!! :thumbsup

DH only plays EXTREME BLACKJACK!!!

If you can't handle the action, don't sit down at my table :1orglaugh

DH

I'm guilty of a few of those, though I'm not 30 yet :-/

i got 7 years left.. woot woot

30 is too old...

ill buy fireworks after 30...:2 cents:

shit ...
i´m over 30 , but i do a lots of that ...

at least that vagina google search ...

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

damn, i'm old...

Dont worry in 12 years when you finally turn 30 and find yourself here still sig whoring for phone sex and gambling money, and trying to wow us with your latest million dollar idea thats already been done a thousand times, you'll be able to relate :1orglaugh

Cool info,It could be useful hehe

I am 27 years olg he-he

Still got enough time to enjoy life... :)

OMG :1orglaugh :1orglaugh !! Funny because it's real...

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia

*Looks degected and stunned*

I've got 359 days left to do all of those things.

So "What's up, you WHORES! Shotgun's mine beyotch! Make room for me and Z Junior. Westside! (with appropriate hand gesture) and from now on...call me Gator"

whoa, I'm in trouble then

Fuck that list... Do those things as long as you can and want!!

I will keep that in mimd ;)

Don't blink... you'll be wishing for 30 before you know it:winkwink:

We need a list for when a man turns 40....

For some, that's mid-life crisis time.. so the rules are slightly askew.

*cough* Uh number 57...how old are you Mark??

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=648584

Pot, Hi I have a collect call from Kettle will you accept the charges?

Geeeeezzzzz Im way past 30 and do more of those things than I care to admit.....................


No wonder I can't seem to hook up with hot chicks.

:helpme

i like 37 and 38

Fucker! :1orglaugh

DH

Well, I hope I still have sharp memory to remember that entire list.. :)

I don't know what 23 is referring to ... but I hope i'm still doing the above in 2 years.

I'm not yet 30 but I haven't done any of those mentioned.