The Girl At the Pond.
 

Since I got back from vacation two days ago, ive looked at the pics from the vacation of me and FUCK, its become clear to me its time to start working out!

So two days ago I began jogging. I run around the lake, and the park in the area here, and I noticed this girl at the pond feeding the ducks in the morning.

Its sad casue she's cute, clean looking, but she has no arms and no legs. Real sad.

I was tired so I sat down at the bench next to her. I started to talk to her. Real nice gal. We really clicked.

As I began to leave, she asked me for a hug goodbye. She said she had never been huged by a man before.
I felt kind of awkward, but she was nice so I picked her up gave her a hug and set her back down. I finished my jog and went home.


Well the next morning I went for a jog again. I took the same route, around the pond, and there she was again! The girl with no arms and no legs sitting along the pond feeding the ducks.

I say hello, and once again we start to talk. This is kinda cool.
As I start to leave she asks me for a hug again and i give it to her.

As im hugging her, she tells me that shes never been kissed by a guy before. She asks if I could just kiss her once. On the cheek of course. I mean what do i do? I feel sorry for the gal. She has no legs, no arms, and she is sooo sweet. So I give her a peck on the cheek, hug her and set her down, and go on my way back home.
Just strange. Yet I kinda feel good being so nice.


So today, day 3 of my joging workout, I go and jog along the lake to the pond again. HOLY SHIT! SHES THERE AGAIN! THREE DAYS IN A ROW! LIKE SHE KNOWS IM COMING!

So I sit down talk to her, the usual. Then I start to leave. This time i dont want to hug her, so I try to sneak off.

She yells HEY! I turn, and say yes?

She says "Ive never been fucked before by a guy"..

And you guys know me, Mr. Boneprone always saying I
"fucked her" and never turning down a fuck. Sooo,


So I walk over to her, pick her up, and throw her in the pond, and scream at her:

"Now You're Fucked!"



Bow to the Power.
BP4L Is Back!

hahaha.

nice.

glad to see you're back man. we need to hook up.

I've heard that a million times. But still funny! :1orglaugh

You should have fucked her...then threw her in the pond. That way she could say she's been fucked at least twice.

You've heard this one a million times?

Damn, ive only been back for three days!
The word spreads fast!

Do you have a pic of you and me?
NO
'Cause you didn't come visit :sadcrying

I have pics of ya, but not of you and me.
Why dont you come to the Vancover show in 13 days, and we can bypass the pics, and go straight to video?

i don't get it ? :rasta

:Graucho

good to see ya back BP :thumbsup

ill post some pics of shit tomorrow.
They are all on my disk. Too lazy to upload now!

there's a small flaw in the story. how can a girl with no arms feed ducks. does she put the food in her mouth, and spit it out on the ground? :eek7

:1orglaugh thats what I was thinking while reading... punchline was faaabulous

edited because of mike503's post

Its people like you that point out flaws in great movies like spiderman.

You think too much.

Fucking funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

i know. that's exactly my problem. i'm too much of an engineer!

but i don't overanalyze movies. the whole point is to have fun and get lost in the plot. almost every movie (action, suspense, etc) has unrealistic portions of it (perfect timing, insane stunts that somehow work, etc..) - but i don't look too hard into those. i just wanted to point out that little detail about this story :)

welcome back bp..... ;-)

What colour were the ducks?

Too funny

http://fallendomains.com
40,000+ expired names daily plus a TON more.

She was nursing the ducks

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Boneprone, you better copyright the story. Otherwise it will be the hot story on SleazyDream next week. :)

How does this bitch feed the fucking ducks with no arms and no legs??? I hope this cunt has some big ass fucking lips. ..... nigga

she flip em' wit her bootum lup or what nigggggga???

hahahaha

I told you, she was nursing them

It's all a lie...how on earth can she feed ducks without legs and
arms? And how the fuck does she get to that lake?

DynaMite

Ok....so what....I first replied and then read the complete thread...
got a problem with that?

DynaMite

:1orglaugh

if i had no arms or legs, the last place i'd EVER want to be is beside a pond.

The plot thickens. How does she get the food in her mouth?! :eek7

Nice remdition BP :thumbsup

"I picked her up and hugged her" ... can't get that image out of my mind....

What? There are no flaws in Spider-Man!

I know you all are very caring people:

I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore.

The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Van Nostrem from the clinic said if you forward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with
NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them.

The doctors said that every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK.

Mommy says you're a mean heartless shithead who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death so you can burn forever in hell. What kind of goddamned person are you that you can't take five fucking minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy? Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard.

I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.

Billy, The boy with just a head. And a burlap sack for a body.

lmao

LOL:thumbsup

good one

I want to know how she got to the pond with no arms and no legs!

did she chin her way up to the pond like an inchbug?

yea howd she get to the pond if she has no arms and legs?

[salsbury]

LMAO.

Not only that, but she most likely would have been in a wheel chair and with no arms and legs to power it, or use the controls, she would have had an escort.:glugglug

Maybe someone brought her to the pond.
How should I know.
Maybe she bounces around on her pelvis to get around.

Hell if I know.

All I know is, I fucked her.

That was my first thought too! LMAO

Also, how can she get to the bench if she had no legs? Did she just roll along the sidewalk? You never said there was a wheelchair

Still pretty funny though. Like Steve Lightspeed says: "The facts are irrelavent" Happy Bday Steve :thumbsup

After reading that story, which I heard about 30 odd years ago, I want you to add another victim to your list, I also feel fucked by Boney:Graucho At least cheated:warning