Are you/ will you be a cool parent?
 

Ok, when I was in high school it was a big thrill to sneak off with my buddies and smoke a joint... get the "munchies", order pizza and just be stupid for the rest of the day. I still wouldn't mind chowing down on some pot brownies once in a while.

I don't care if my neighor smokes a joint, and I'd think it was cool if I found out he had a little grow operation going on in his basement or something.

My wife and I always said we'd be "cool" parents and tell our kids if they're going to smoke pot, "do it at home so you don't get busted".

Now we have two in high school and we're just freaking out at the idea that they might get their hands on a joint (I know for a fact that one of them already has). We're NOT "cool"... in fact, the whole idea of providing a safe environment for my kids to engage in illegal activities seems completely irresponsible.

It's kind of hypocritical.. but that's the way it is.

Nothing works as well as hypocritical parents to turn kids into junkies..

i will be a cool parent if i ever become one :)

I’m not a father yet, and I have no idea how to become a cool dad once I have kids, I think I will be much like my own father, and he is not a cool dad. I mean, when we are young we always dream about wanting to be the cool dad, but the reality is we end up been like our own parents.

Is it cool to be a cool dad, or is it more cool to be a regular one who puts limits to their kids?

I am very much not a cool parent. It's sad, really, because I have so many tattoos that kids always seem to think I will be a cool parent. Out of all my kids' friends' parents, I am the only one who makes their friends call me by my last name. Which is particularly cruel in my case, as my last name is a very long, complicated one.

Recently I made a comment to the effect that I am not a strict parent or a lax one, and both of my teenaged kids agreed, so I figure it must be true. Believe me, if there was a chance to yell at me that I was wrong, they would have taken it.

I don't want kids, it's not for me.

If I was a parent I don't know if I would be strict or easy going but at least I know I would "look" cool. I wouldn't look stuck in the 80's our out of style or look embarassing and embarass them. I would look "cool" and up to date. Not sure how I would act though. I would probably listen to current music too and not
"old people" music.

I don't want kids though so it's a moot point, but IF I was a parent.

So getting a blue mohawk would be a bad idea for me? :( Pity.

How about the emo look? I'm not sure which would embarass them more.

:thumbsup

I'll just try to be the best dad for my kids someday--a good provider and their best buddy at the same time. :)

Yeah, that's what we said too. :(

I think i'll be a great uncle :)!

I think I' m cool enough for him. :pimp

I try to be a good father.

I have never even said anything unkind to my daughter. Ever.

"Cool?"

Dunno.

My role is to be a good father, first and foremost.

for me the definition of cool parent is someone who raised their kids for good... eventhough they're grown up already, they'll still love and respect their parent.

Respect > Coolness

when there's respect there is love...

I'm a single mom - no dad around - so i always have to be the bad guy :(
I hope later on i have a great friendship with my son and he can trust me enough to tell me everything

Just be a good parent and then you can trust their judgement when they're outside of the house. If they enjoy life and have longterm goals, they'll know when to tone it down. So long as they're getting their school work done and making decent grades, let them build their own sense of responsibility. Drugs/beer/girls come with the teenage territory. My parents were 'cool' - in fact they were so 'cool' that I had enough sense never to bring any of that teenage stuff around the house. I preferred coming home to a clean family home after a night or a weekend of partying with clowns, dirty girls, and rejects. I never let the two worlds collide because I wanted it that way, out of respect for myself and my parents.

Never did drugs with or around my parents. But I puffed my first cigarette and had my first taste of liqour with my dad when I was like 6 or 8 years old. Those early experiences taught me that it's not a big deal and that things in moderation are ok.

You can only answer this after you have become a parent in my opinion, before you have no experience and any answer would most likely change after you do become a parent.

approving, and allowing illegal behavior from your children will only give them the idea that it is okay. And as a parent, you have the responsibility to give them the best chance in life. And a posession charge on their record really will fuck em over. So, don't be cool! Be responsible.

Um.. no.

I do not need to be "cooL" to kids. I need to be a good parent and that's about it. I am not their friend, pal, buddy.. I'm their parent.

That's the problem in this world. People want to be their child's "pal" and do not spend time being a parent, or the adult.

As Bernie Mac says, "There are a lot of punk ass parents out there today".

i'll be a cool parent someday!

Dunno, I'll let my kids decide ;)

Allowing them to do stupid shit, is NOT being a cool parent.

Kids dont know how to control themselves anymore. So at home things may be ok. but one day, they will be with a friend, and then behind the wheel of a car.

My daughter is 5months old... she thinks I am the cats ass.

We wake up early to share a mommy treat... FRESH MILK!!!

We enjoy the simpler things in life. Am I cool? I always give my little one first dibs on the tit she wants. We respect the circle of life as we see fit.

My Girl is a fireball when she gets mad, so we 'respect' each others boundaries.

I think the first thing to realise is how cool are you to begin with, if you are not really all that cool. Associating cool to your kids lives will be pretty hard.

The simple fact of the matter is... every generation of kids exponentially gets into crazier things. So thinking smoking a joint with your 12yr old is cool. Its really not!!! smoking a firely bowl of Meth while watching 12hrs of downloaded hardcore porno probably is. Its a relative scale.

i hope i'm cool...
my kid is only 2 years old, so he can't tell me yet...

my partner and i try to be friends to my 4 year old daughter but we also give discipline and let her know there are rules to be followed.
we teach her to think about what results come from her actions, and she understands very well that friends dont do stuff which hurts the others feelings.

icame from an extremely intolreant religious family, my partner was one of 9 kids in an alcoholic family who didn't care... somehow we both ended up living exremely similar lives.. and doing a lot of stoopid things.
so we try to find the happy medium between being too strict/too easy pal n parent

its not easy,
but the one thing we always promise is we'd never shut the door on our kids.

i dunno but i'd let my kids trust me so they could tell me what they'd do, if they want to smoke i'd let them but i'll also tell them the consequences if they do so... trusting is cool right?

I like to think I am a cool, but only time will tell. The only person who can truly judge that will be my children.

No.. I'm not cool now I'm not planning on being cool by any standards when I do have kids. I plan to give my child what they need when they need to the degree it needs to be. I could really not care if my child thinks I'm 'super cool' at 10 or even 15. What I care about is how that child will perform at 25 and 45... thats when you know you're mark was made.

I am a good father....

as said up this thread, respect is much better

I will be cool, but i wont allow them to smoke or anything like that.

Of course we all did shit like that in high school, but it was dangerous and we didnt know better. I got away with smoking, and now im addicted, which needless to say has a major impact on my life

Thats why its up to you as a wise parent to send your kids in the right direction as best you can based on your experiences

I was thinking for a long time that i will be a friend to my daughter. But i changed my mind when she started to use my as a servant at the age 3. Now i feel like i became a terrorist for her. I can do nothing about that.

My kids think I am cool
My oldest she is 22 now, when she was 16, she started smoking weed
I told her smoking weed was not allowed until she was over 18 and had finished school, until then it was off bounds. She stopped smoking it and she graduated. She still does not smoke pot to this day.
I like to smoke weed and I smoked pot, hash, oil all through high school and it did set me back in my learning, made me lazy, and I don't want my kids held back like that.

No kids yet, but I hope I'll be a cool dad. But that to me isnt about having a safe place for them to smoke etc.. more about being active with them & doing things & being involved more than anything..

As far as cool goes, we are the coolest ones of our kids friends parents, simply because we remember what it was like to be their ages. We have them 8, 13, 17 and 22. NO MATTER what though, you can't always be cool because they expect and NEED us to teach and guide and discipline them, and yes they WANT these things. BUT, we have this thing in my house where if they have really done something fucked up, they can come and talk to us as not just their parents, but as PEOPLE....... they have a chance to come clean on it themselves without us finding out and punishment won't be near as harsh or strict.

We promote our kids being people, not sit in the corner and speak when you are spoken to kids. We encourage them to speak their minds but they have no right to yell them at us, if they speak to us in a normal tone, we listen, but not with them showing disrespect. If we ask them to do something and they have a valid reason why they don't want to then ok, we talk about it.

What you have to know, you can BE cool and be the parent, it isn't always easy because the parent part always has to take the front seat, but you can manage them both....

I used to say I'd promote them doing things like smoking pot and such at home too, but I couldn't do it when it came that time, my job as a PARENT, is to protect them from it, but at the same time, if they are GOING to do it, then I have to teach them to be responsible about it....... THAT part is hard. I mean, we all know they do as they please and they experiment and you walk a tightrope of punishing them for it or teaching them to do it responsibly..... that's the best you can do. Same thing with Sex, you can tell them not to do it all damn day but they are going to do it.. arm them with the responsible tools... to me THAT makes you a cool parent. Don't try and force them to do your bidding, they won't do it, arm them, teach them and guide them, THEN you will be a cool parent. You can teach without condoning. :)

as the time passes, i am starting to think that i look like my mother in behaviour with my daughter.

<-- will be a "cool parent" one day.

"cool" and responsible are 2 different things. if you know when to give a little slack, but know when to toughen up, you'll be okay.