I just figured out something BIG!
 

Why step daughters hate their step fathers...

My wife divorced her ex-husband because he had no backbone.

1. He never stood up for himself at work.
2. He never stood up for himself in school.
3. He never stood up to his momma.

*** AND MOST IMPORTANT ***
4. He never stood up to his kids....

They just walk all over him and did so before the divorce. So his lame ass excuse that he babies them because of divorce guilt is plain bullshit.

His daughters reason for hating me are nothing but the simple fact that I tell them no once in a while and don't allow them to talk back to their mother (or their father).

OK, back to what ever it is you were doing...

:thumbsup :thumbsup

I always thought women left their husbands so they could try to fuck their way up the ladder. Also for some new idiot to tell them how pretty they are for 2years. Rinse repeat.

thanks for the insight into your life :)

1.) Never get married

They hate you for being a "man".. and they hate you for being a wimp... it's always a no win situation.

I agree! :thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

Thank You, come again...

In two years...

hehe yep.

Just so you know, the kids may "hate" you now but deep down they do respect you more. Thats a weird age for kids, they hate everything. Don't take it personally.

Rasing someone elses child has to be the hardest thing in the world. I don't think I could ever do it. For my own reasons it just wouldn't be an ideal thing for me.

However my mother was married four times so step fathers is a thing I know alot about, lol. I never hated any of them nor did I like them. I just simply didn't care.. but there was one with no backbone but he was a little 'slow' if you know what I mean. Anyways if you gotta raise someone elses kid thats all you can do is be there and the best you can be and be the person their parent(s) aren't.

just a side note ( and not to be mean )

but i notice that you said "why step-daughters hate their stepfathers" instead of "why daughters hate their stepfathers"..

To you , she should be your daughter not your stepdaughter. while i understand that maybe you were just pointing that out to us , i hope you dont point that out to her or mention that in front of her, like obviously she knows she is a stepdaughter , and its certainly fair for her to consider you her "step father" i dont think its fair to consider her of anything less than a daughter.. I'm not railing on you just hope that you dont remind her of the fact she is a "step-daughter" all the time , because that could be the reason also.

There are a list of reasons for resentment...

Woman divorces, then down the road brings another man into the picture.. She's all crazy about the guy but her kids aren't necessarily as fond.. but they're expected to accept him simply because Mom loves the guy.. Now he's in a position of authority, but in the kids' eyes, he has none because he's not their dad..
You're already dealing with kids that didn't want to see their dad walk out the door, now that's compounded by a different man walking in the door that they're now supposed to obey.

It doens't matter if the guy tries to set them straight or not.. He's an unwelcome man in their eyes, let alone in their lives.

No real answer as to the best way to handle it, so long as you don't go overboard with a determination to change what they've been accustomed to all of their lives.. That'll cause even more resentment and in many cases they do everything in their power to try to ruin the mom/non-dad relationship..
Then nobody's happy..

Ya have to make sure they've accepted you into their lives before you can assume the role of authority.

Then you're talking about teenage girls... which is a whole hair pulling scenario in itself..

the best way to vent is to hit a metal pole with a wrench. :thumbsup

I said step because I refered to one as a daughter at her 16th birthday banquet which I paid $600 to throw and paid for a limo to take her and 8 friends to Universal City Walk. When I said, Diana and I would like to thank you all for coming to "our" daughters Sweet Sixteen party the people on her dads side of the room got all butt-hurt that I'd refer to her as my daughter.

"Dude, you din'do nuthin, John donated dat dare sperm mutherfucker. You don't have nun right to be call'in 'er yours!"

OK... I just put the kids up in a 5 bedroom house where they don't have to share rooms, pay their cell phone bill (and it doesn't get turned off for non-payment), pay for all of their school clothes/supplies, hair care, class ring, senior pictures, car, insurance (health, dental, car, etc...) and everything else... And then have to put up with them loving their "daddy" and thinking I am a dick 5 days out of the week. I get weekends off because that is when they need me to pay for the movies, gas to drive to the beach, etc...

But now I am sounding like my love is required because I pay for shit. That is only one aspect of what I do for them. I think the guidance is most important. Teaching them to work for themselves because working for other people is how you live in a 2 bedroom house with 4 kids and drive a minivan.

Took apart the old couch with a 2x4... Then burned it... Still had some venting to do... Guess I will need to try the pole and wrench.

The (now) 15yo just came to me today and told me that she thought about my money talk with her and my son and now she is starting to see things differently.

First, she sees how her dads problems are HIS PROBLEMS because he either fails to deal with them or just wants to blame others for them.

For intance, he ran up his cell phone bill to $1100 last month. How in the FUCK does a grown man do such a thing? Well, he has a new girlfriend on a different network so he basically did what he is supposed to be telling his own daughters NOT TO DO! What a fucking retarded cock sucker!

So anyway, his daughter was telling me how she saw that bill and thought, "WOW, Jay'd never do this kind of thing. He'd tell US not to do this kind of thing."

I said, "You know, I don't tell you that kind of thing because I noticed you guys were hitting 2000 minutes about 4 months ago and uped the plan to 2500 from 1800. And if you guys were going to hit 2500 I'd up it again to 3000."

Second, he got his car impounded for not paying the registration. I actually offered to pay it for him when I noticed the tags were 1 year out of date. He was to proud and said no.... So I almost paid it anyway. DMV doesn't care who pays, they just want their money and my woman has his name for her kids sake so she could do it without question. But she said he'd freak if I did that... So it gets impounded with him and his 15yo daughter in it.

On top of that he always gets his utilities shut off. Is always borrowing the rent and then getting a tatoo on the 2nd and 3rd week of the month instead of saving for the bills...

I asked my woman what kind of house she thinks she'd be in and she said she'd be living in one of her moms rentals in the bad side of town because he can only afford $1000 or so in rent. Folks.. In CA that isn't shit for rent. Where the fuck do you think you'd live? How can someone with kids do that to them? Crazy...