Epic Cash is hiring again....
 

we ar elooking for someone with experience in the folloing:
sitting around doing nothing all day.
lying about having things done and not actually having them done.
contacting affiliates and getting them to promote, but not actually doing it.
posting on the boards, but not really doing it.

if you can do this or any of it, we will pay you 3500 a month USD.

no resume is required, because you wont need todo anything and we dont care about prior work history.

if you post in this thread, you are hired.

thanks. we look forward to working with you.

Woo hoo! I have a job!

woot im hired

Sweet I got a job =)

damnit...is it the first person who replies...or all people posting in here get jobs? I'm confused :error

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

pretty much anyone who posts.

we have unlimited piles of money just waiting to be wasted on you worthless fucking idiots.

i'd like to thank BoyAlley for helping me get this position, if he didn't teach me how to suck a mean cock, i would still be doing actual work for money..

nice sig lol

So, pimpdog, any preference in things you want me to lie about getting done, people I should say I contacted but didn't and boards you don't want me to actually post on?

Whatever it is, consider it not done :thumbsup

Oh, when can I expect my first paycheck?

Seems to be the perfect job for me. But don´t you think $3,500 salary are a bit low for such a responsible job?

not sure, but i think i could do some of that.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

fuckin spit out my beer on that one

congrats to the ...

This is actually my current job.

Except I make more.

Sorry P-dog. You know it's always been my dream to be on the Epic Cash Rude And Insulting Post Crew.

I think you're a cock sucker but you do have your moments.. :1orglaugh

So you fired JimTheFiend then? :1orglaugh

I'll take it.

so i'm hired? i can also offer $40 per join every so often and post would you hit it pics?

Are old employees eligible?

actually he got promoted to head gimp. he will supervise everyone and give them the daily tasks of doing nothing

all the old employees are pretty much doing this anyways.....

did i get hired yet i posted like 9 fucking minutes ago!

I have perfected this process...it is called

"EpicJim's creative time management"

"look for it on Amazon for only $19.95 and you too can get money for nothing!!"
:thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

checks in the mail....

i will expect my $3500 check on sept 1 thanks - in the mean time i am telling you i will be working hard.

can you paypal me?

I need next week off for vacation. This job is wearing me out.

I take my new responsibilities VERY seriously. I will immediately have ANYONE fired who produces so much as ONE piece of actual work.

so who fucked you over?

out them!

:1orglaugh

thanks for the 3500 :)

I'm waiting for him to mention the name too. I have a few choice things to say about this individual myself.

Am i hired?:)

Wow, they're replacing you? Enjoy the time off.

for 4500 maybe...I got mad slacking skillz y0

:pimp

wow, you'll have a whole staff of people soon.

Did you lay off jimthefiend or something ?

Looks like I just got hired!

Actually I think I got a raise.

I'm considering your offer...

I'll need a corner office with a window, perferably with a door to the outside, just in case I feel an urge to shuffle off to the titty bar (which would be just about anytime a meeting is called).

Oh yeah, and I'll need waterproof business cards, a hooker account, and a company car of course, something pimp, so people will know how EC Reps roll...

As for benefits, make them comprehensive, and my secretary will need to have an IQ of at least 36DD, along with excellent happy ending massage skills.

Be sure to pay me in advance too, because I'm not going to do nothing for nothing...

If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

ADG Webmaster

can i get an advance on octobers salary, i just ordered some new 15 inch wheels and tires for my ford focus

You're fired.

fuuckkkk now mom isnt going to let me have the fucking car

Lmao. I actually KNEW an idiot a few years back that ordered rims for his mom's car, which he was allowed to drive on weekends.



OH the drama....

My parole officer will be thrilled ..... thank you

So many of you beat around the bush. Sounds like there was a problem with newbreed.

While I am not qualified for this position I am willing to take a position supervising no more than a half dozen people doing what you described. I can guarantee result within the framework you set forth.

Contact me for a completely false resume.

Made-up references available upon request.

yay got a job!

I'm not qualifed.