Headlines 2036
 

HEADLINES 2036

1. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

2. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops &
livestock.

3. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American
Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon)

4. Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will
take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

5. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

6. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

7. Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of
affair with candy striper.

8. Texas executes last remaining citizen.

9. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

10. Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped.

11. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6
million.

12. Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los
Angeles.

13. Average height of NBA players now nine feet seven inches.

14. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of
Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

15. New California law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036

hehe not bad, did you write that up yourself?

Okay.

Nope... a friend emailed it to me...