| notabook |
08-03-2006 01:11 AM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by reynold
That's kinda harsh, man. I don't like cats either. I have two dogs here: a pomeranian and a beagle.
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It's not that I'm being harsh out of being an insensitive asshole though... Cats pose the single biggest threat to humanity that the world has ever known. Fuck global warming, fuck terrorists, fuck black people... NONE of that compares to the horrors that cats represent to our very species. It?s been observed worldwide that the feline race is evolving at an alarming rate and it?s believed that within a matter of decades cat kind will have developed a unified language and thusly their civilization will begin. It will start out innocently enough; cat owners worldwide will be amazed at how their cats are able to communicate with one another.
Then you?ll start seeing murders and assassinations, seemingly random at first, start taking place all around the world. One by one key political figures will be assassinated by secret kitty agents. NOBODY suspects little fluffy there of packing heat? NOBODY. And that is currently their biggest weapon. People see cats as ?cute? and ?cuddly? and ?wonderful? little creatures. Those PETA and ALF fucks are actively working AGAINST humanity, and pro felinity. The sick part is they welcome the day that humans will bow down to animal kind!
What the stupid PETA and ALF fucks fail to realize is that once the invading cat armies take over our countries they simply will have outgrown their usefulness. They will be stripped of any dignity they had while working for cat kind and forced to work in the sweltering catnip mines until the day they die. And why? Because they thought the world would be a better place ran by a feline version of Hitler. Because the stupid fucks wanted human civilization to crumble and to allow for a new, and in their eyes superior, race to become the dominant force on this planet.
There will be pockets of resistance throughout the world that won?t cave in to the family Felidae. They will fight. I will be one of those who resist. In the end the cats will ultimately realize that this planet is no longer worth their time and they will leave our planet in gigantic litterbox spaceships in order to search out for new species to befriend with their ?cuteness?, then to eventually enslave them as well. It will be a big sigh of relief for humanity; we?ll once again be free ? for a time being? For a threat even greater than cats lurk in our oceans, a threat that will most likely hunt us into extinction: dolphins. |
