fucking cramps in chest when i swallow something
 

hey its a 'fucking around' forum too and i dont have a clue what this shit is.
when i swallow something whether drinks or food i get fucking cramps in the right side of my chest... sometimes it hurts quite a bit.. wtf is this?

i dont trust doctors all they do is take money
i ask gfyers so that says enough how i feel about doctors

r u a heavy smoker

heart attack or acid reflux.
If you're not in the mood for calling 911, I recommend you take a couple of aspirin (in case it is a heart attack), and half a bucket of antiacids, since aspirin is a killer for the stomack.
Seriously, take a few tums or something of that effect and see how it does. Avoid drinking anything other than water or milk, chew gum (it promotes salivation which neutralizes acid), and don't lay down.

how can it be a heart attack my heart is on the left side, i got that shit on the right side... and whats acid reflux?

You're going to die :(

not to sound too much of a smart ass but.. beat off once, then try and burp alot :thumbsup