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I am an artist and I have found a flaw in my way of thinking.

Perhaps artistry is a form of retardation. Repeated step's to fine tune my expressions, viewed elements, the absorbtion in witnessing actions with my senses. Accute sensitivities to site, sound and vision, yet always...
I am lost, to paralised in thought to take real action and I easily rush to find solace in the simplicity of interpreting what I have seen. Resulting in creative expressions.

As a creator the things I create have no value to me, yet require instruments.

I have always been of the mind that I need things or want things that have a purpose. Everything I have needs to have a use, if I have something that is of no use it is quickly discarded. Everything of value to me is a tool, an instrument be it in graphics or sound.

Yet what I create has a purpose to other's though I have never valued it other than as means of survival. Even if what I did was not a means to survival I would be inclined to carve on wall's, to communicate thoughts, impressions, concepts of things beyond my singular ability to others. What ever they are.

I have never found myself taking what I create to make more things.

This is an inherent flaw in my mind that was recently realised, something I have overlooked as to how I exhist and why my past failures are so prevalent and constant in the past.

I am enlightened.

Thanks for reading.