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-   -   Here's an example of a brilliantly written review... (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=632940)

RRRED 07-13-2006 01:57 PM

Here's an example of a brilliantly written review...
 
Here are the two that they posted about Karups Hometown Amateurs. I really enjoyed reading these....

Here's one..

"Funny, really, how people try to stamp ownership on things. I'd hazard a guess: I think about 80% of establishments out there, be it a hotdog stand or a chain of five-star hotels, bear the name of it's owners. Nathan's Hotdogs. The Hilton hotels. Donna Karan suits, Manolo Blahnik shoes. It's as if everybody's eager to pour their...essence into the things they produce. It's quite alright I guess, it's normal, if not slightly reeking of self-importance.

This happens even in porn. Every now and then you come across a certain ________'s Apartment. Or __________'s Bunk Bed. Or _________'s pathetic attempt to take advantage of a 10 billion dollars a year spending market and make a quick buck. Take Karup's Hometown Amateurs for example. Who on God's green earth is Karup? Is this a Belgian name? Filipino? Indonesian? Ethiopian? Are any of these places his or her hometown? I guess the most important question that begs to be asked is: how come he gets access to really hot amateur sluts?

KHA is just one of the sites affiliated with an internet porn behemoth: Karup's Porn Collection or Karup'sPC.com. I'm a writer, I'm very serious with words, so when I say behemoth, I mean, MILLIONS of porn images and videos. If that's the case with the main site, then nothing less should be expected of KHA. The refreshing pink and white Tour Page boasts of "500,000 hi-res photos and videos and tons of teen amateur feeds". Quite convincingly if I might say so, what with all the mouth-watering we get here. Once you log in you'll find yourself in the KHA main members' area, a stripped down, easy enough to navigate page that lists all the navigational links at the upper left corner (Amateur Babes, Athletic Amateurs, Ethnic Amateurs, Amateurs Outdoors, Amateurs with Toys, Hardcore Amateurs, Softcore Movies, Hardcore Movies, Feeds/Streams, Model Index, Karup's DVD, and Contact Us) and presents the most recent updates in a thumbnailed gallery.

And it's true, what the Tour Page says, there really is a massive amount of amateur content here. I can't vouch for the 500 thousand figure, because hey, I do love porn and I do want to be of service to my fellow porn fan, but there is no way in hell I will count that many photos and videos. Which I guess is a testament to the greatness of this site: it has so much content, I don't even wanna try counting it. You have the quantity part down but what about quality, you ask. Well, I don't think you will ever find anywhere in cyberpornspace amateur girls prettier than the ones featured here. I'm not saying that each and everyone of the girls here are drool-worthy but come on, law of averages: if you have that many girls, chances are, a good number of them are keepers. More than in any other site with way less content.

Way to go for someone with such a really lousy name huh?

Karup, we probably won't know who you are. And you'd probably end up being swindled by some beguiling blonde slut out of your own porn empire and die penniless and sad, but it's okay. We'll always have your sites as your legacy. With its staggering collection of videos and images of hot and horny amateur sluts, Karups Hometown Amateurs will always remind us of the man you were, the visions you once held and the values you upheld."

And here's the other...

"Now who or what in tarnation is "Karups"? I first thought it was either a new brand of clove cigarettes or electronics. Anyway, whoever he is, give him a big hand for serving up a sweet-looking site featuring authentic amateurs, and none of those pro models who think a couple of pigtails will turn them into newbies all over again. The look of Karups Hometown Amateurs, from the tour page to its members area, is a far cry from piss-elegant ones you'd be too intimidated to click on, nor is it sloppily put together you'd turn your nose up at it.

Forgive me for initially thinking I'd be getting inexperienced hayseed hoes that got thrown out of a clodhoppers ball for being overtly skanky. I take it back with a big slice of humble pie. KHA has got some pretty tasty-looking morsels doing what the town elders forbade them to do. The simple members area lay out has a message about how the people behind the site have taken members' suggestions to heart (such as proper indexing), hence the uncluttered page. This almost unbearable thoughtfulness and consideration resulted in a left-hand side menu bearing tabs for Amateur Babes, Athletic Amateurs, Ethnic Amateurs, Amateurs Outdoors, Amateurs With Toys, Hardcore Amateurs, Softcore Movies, Hardcore Movies, Feeds/Streams, Model Index, Karups DVDs, and Contact Us. The rest of the page is taken up by an episode archive-slash-thumbnail model index starting with the latest 6 (!!!) updates (the site updates every day). So it looks to me as if Karups manages to ferret out 4-6 amateur sluts on a daily basis. Not a bad batting average at all.

The cattle call for local horny girls didn't go unheeded, and the exhibition of fresh fleshy produce ensues. The site's claim of "pure 100 Amateur: no glamour, no pornstars, no strippers" seems to adhere to truth in advertising. I mean, which pro porn star do you know kisses before fucking? Or who goes to shoots wearing socks not as a costume but because that's what she had on when she arrived at the studio? Or who totally admits to not liking anal sex? The result is a virtual one-stop shop of girl-next-door types who managed to shrug off whatever inhibition they have and show all online.

Suffice to say the content quantity is staggering, all 94 pages of it. Videos and pictures aren't evenly distributed among the models though, because one gal can have as much as 170 picture and no videos, while another only has videos and no pics. But be comforted with the thought that the site is on its toes with making the site more navigation-friendly. And, even with all these greenhorn goodies, KHA still thinks its members need freebies in the form of feeds and streaming videos which should keep you busy and in hibernation for maybe a couple of months.

Karup made sure to round up "plain" but hot amateurs that you'd actually have the nerve to strike up a conversation with IRL. If your confidence has been shot to pieces more times than you'd care to remember by girls that are out of your league, follow Karup's lead and go amateur."

detoxed 07-13-2006 01:59 PM

IRL all the way! Nice way to insert IM slang into it

Ice 07-13-2006 01:59 PM

You lost me at...

"Here are the two"

We all have ADD here darlin :)

RRRED 07-13-2006 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ice
You lost me at...

"Here are the two"

We all have ADD here darlin :)

Haha I know... I had to go get a sandwich and replace a lightbulb and put lotion on my legs in the middle of reading it myself.

MaDalton 07-13-2006 05:30 PM

sounds good - must be because of the great content :Graucho

Mr. Romance 07-13-2006 05:32 PM

nice work....


Mr. Romance

Dagwolf 07-13-2006 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RRRED
Haha I know... I had to go get a sandwich and replace a lightbulb and put lotion on my legs in the middle of reading it myself.

I read it straight through. Are lengthy reviews like this really effective?

headless ghost 07-13-2006 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RRRED
Haha I know.............. and put lotion on my legs in the middle of reading it myself.

the lotion on the legs part I could have done for you.
no charge.

headless ghost 07-13-2006 05:51 PM

so I read the review.
often wondered the same thing myself:
who the fuck is Karup???????????

georgeyw 07-13-2006 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dagwolf
I read it straight through. Are lengthy reviews like this really effective?

Couldn't read it all personally, just don't care enough. To be honest I can't see many people researching a site that much, it's not like they're buying a house or car :2 cents:

brand0n 07-13-2006 06:30 PM

time it took me to read that i could have beat off twice, smoked a sig and cooked a pot pie

sumphatpimp 07-13-2006 06:34 PM

if I have to read all that just to jerkoff, then I am in the wrong place.
thank god for video tapes and dvd's.
don't have to read shit!

you internet people have just got to remove your head from your ass.
I don't want to read your drivel, I want to have a sexual fantasy and jerkoff.
what part of that don't you understand?

E$_manager 07-13-2006 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ice
You lost me at...

"Here are the two"

We all have ADD here darlin :)

me - even earlier, but i believe you RRRED.:winkwink:

MarcWomack 07-26-2006 02:26 PM

RRRED just linked me to this thread from our end of the month's special thread over at fucking-around-and-business-discussion/637739-free-traffic-cjtraffic-post10479051.html. The review was from our www.pornsavvy.com site. We find that a lot of the surfers do love the longer reviews, but if you look at a review page, say http://www.pornsavvy.com/porn-site-r..._spy_camel_toe we don't post the long review on the main review page. Instead we focus on the metrics of the site, free video content, and free gallery content. There's a quote from each review that the surfers can click read full review to get to the long review.

BTW, anyone with affiliate functionality can get their site reviewed for free. There is a 2 week wait right now b/c we're getting so many requests. But, we're doing a special over at fucking-around-and-business-discussion/637739-free-traffic-cjtraffic-post10479051.html where if you buy any traffic package from us, even for $40, you get bumped to the top of the review queue.

MarcWomack 07-26-2006 11:38 PM

RRRED, thanks again for the kind words. I emailed the link to this thread to my writing staff. Here's what they had to say:

Hi Marc! Yeah, I've got a GFY account working and the team has read the thread. We're totally over the moon about this obviously hehe. Please send our deepest appreciations to the Karups owner. Feedback like that always makes us wanna do bigger and better things with PS and is always welcome.

Regards,

Melani

nAtuRaLbEautY 07-26-2006 11:54 PM

Good article!!! :)

CaptainHowdy 07-26-2006 11:58 PM

:) !!

Kimo 07-27-2006 06:05 AM

that review fucking rocks

CIVMatt 07-27-2006 06:06 AM

Whats wrong with Mike's Apartment???

picsmasters 07-27-2006 06:08 AM

nice review indeed

Nicky 07-27-2006 06:28 AM

Good spider food for sure :)


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