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FLAiR 06-20-2006 11:21 PM

10 Worst Blowjob Mistakes
 
10 Worst Blowjob Mistakes

The number one blowjob mistake: letting your teeth hit his cock. We can't stress this enough. Ask any guy and he'll tell you again and again: nothing is worse than a blowjob that is "all teeth". In fact, most guys won't admit it, but their idea of a perfect blowjob would be getting sucked off by a gorgeous woman with removable dentures. Teeth can nick and scrape the sensitive skin of the penis. Open your mouth wide enough that they stay away from his cock, or suck your lips in over them to cushion the rough edges. If he's wearing a condom during the blowjob this may provide a slight buffer, but don't count on it.


2.. Going too fast

Some guys enjoy a quickie, but unless they're in a hurry to get back to work or back to their wife/girlfriend, most men like to savor the experience of getting their cock sucked. So don't rush them. It's not a race to see how fast you can get him to spurt. Take your time and make it last. Concentrate on different parts of his penis, or his balls, then go back to basic sucking and stroking. At the end of a luxuriant BJ session, he'll blow a much larger, more satisfying load.


3.. Sucking too hard

Hoovering him like a dustbuster may seem like a good idea in theory, but there's a wrong way to do it. Don't fasten your mouth around the head of his cock and suck like you're trying to get a triple-thick milkshake though a straw. Guys' dickheads are the most sensitive part of the penis, and uncut guys are even more sensitive there. The proper technique to hoover is to take more of his cock into your mouth and apply moderate suction.


4.. Crushing his nuts

Don't grab his balls and squeeze like you're trying to crack walnuts. This is a move you want to pull on a would-be rapist, not a guy you're trying to get off. It's painful. Many guys like to have their sack rubbed, licked, or gently tugged during a bj. You can even take a break from sucking his cock to take one or both of his balls into your mouth. But don't yank on the family jewels, and don't put them in a vise grip.


5.. Barfing and gagging

Throwing up while giving a bj is definitely a turn-off, although sometimes this happens to the most well-intentioned cocksuckers. What happens is they get overenthusiastic, take the cock too deep or hard into their throat, the gag reflex gets triggered, and then it's all over. Or once the cum starts hitting the back of her throat, things start flowing the wrong way. Don't try to deep throat on your first BJ. Everyone will be sorry. Practice first on dildos to get your gag-reflex under control. Or just work up to it at your own speed.


6.. Remaining immobile

Putting his cock in your mouth and then doing nothing is as bad as overdoing it. Most guys don't want to feel like they're face-fucking a cadaver. You need to work it at least a little. A total lack of effort or enthusiasm on your part is a real buzz kill. If you don't know what to do with your tongue, at least bob your head. After a while, he may want to take a more active role and have you relax while he fucks your mouth, but you need to give him a little encouragement to get him aroused.


7.. Not using enough pressure

Wimpy blowjobs are no fun. Be firm and suck him like you mean it. Lapping his dick lightly will just make him feel teased. Licking his dick like it's a lollipop or popsicle may be fun to get warmed up, but then you have to get down to business. Use a firm (but not too firm) hand to work the shaft of his cock, while you get your mouth all over his knob and caress it with your tongue.


8.. Spitting

Most guys want you to swallow and think that a BJ really isn't complete until his load goes down your throat. The only exception is if he gets off more on spraying it on your face, tits, or somewhere else. If you really don't want to swallow, this can be an acceptable compromise. Symbolically, swallowing shows that you accept him and his manly essence fully. Although we can't endorse unprotected bodily fluid exchange in any form, if you happen to be giving an unprotected blowjob (i.e., without a condom) and you end up with his spunk in your mouth, do not retch his cum into a wastebasket in front of him. If you really feel you must spit, do it discreetly into a towel or tissue.


9.. Dry mouth

A good BJ involves a lot of saliva. Don't be afraid to get a little sloppy and drool on his cock. If your mouth is dry from nervousness or whatever, there will be too much friction and stickiness to give good head. If your mouth is dry, drink some water and rinse. Try to work up a good mouthful of spit before you go down. Suck on a hard candy to get your juice flowing, or suck on an Altoid to give him a mentholated BJ.


10.. Stranglehold

Don't put his cock in a deathgrip. It's fine to wrap a hand around the shaft, but don't clench and for god's sake, watch the nails. Just hold it enough to keep it from flopping around and shuck his pole with your hand while you work him with your mouth. His dick shouldn't have a handprint on it when you're done.

buddyjuf 06-20-2006 11:23 PM

good post!

Bdiddy 06-20-2006 11:28 PM

I can think of a couple females from my past who need to read that

Jace 06-20-2006 11:28 PM

I love having my balls squeezed during a blowjob, the harder the better

I am a sick as mother fucker though

BobG 06-20-2006 11:41 PM

Can I add...

11. Don't claim to be all good at it or like "I give the best bj's" and shit. Chances are if you make that claim, the guy is gonna be like, "eh, it wasn't that great."

:2 cents:

anne 06-20-2006 11:56 PM

Wow very insightful.. All I have learned about bjs came from porn :) lol

martinsc 06-21-2006 12:16 AM

true :thumbsup

nofx 06-21-2006 12:20 AM

keep that shit wet ;]

Lance69 06-21-2006 12:32 AM

Personally I love having my cock bit. Just not on the head, way to sensitive! Shit I've had teeth marks all up on the shaft, and loved it!
I like to play the how low can you make the teeth marks on the shaft game! :thumbsup

NoHassleSteve 06-21-2006 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobG
Can I add...

11. Don't claim to be all good at it or like "I give the best bj's" and shit. Chances are if you make that claim, the guy is gonna be like, "eh, it wasn't that great."

:2 cents:

That's just so she'll practice until she gets it right :thumbsup

CaptainHowdy 06-21-2006 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FLAiR
10.. Stranglehold

Don't put his cock in a deathgrip. It's fine to wrap a hand around the shaft, but don't clench and for god's sake, watch the nails. Just hold it enough to keep it from flopping around and shuck his pole with your hand while you work him with your mouth. His dick shouldn't have a handprint on it when you're done.

LOL :1orglaugh !! That should be # 1... I think it's one of the most common mistakes !!

I've never got a single good bj from a gf :Oh crap!

BusterBunny 06-21-2006 12:52 AM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

FLAiR 06-21-2006 10:15 AM

bump! =)

Elli 06-21-2006 10:18 AM

There are ways to use your teeth beneficially, of course. :)

gooddomains 06-21-2006 10:19 AM

bj are great

Sosa 06-21-2006 10:23 AM

great post!

Farang 06-21-2006 10:27 AM

good reading, thanks :thumbsup

DaddyHalbucks 06-21-2006 10:33 AM

Bump for some great practical knowledge!

pornguy 06-21-2006 10:35 AM

great post. expected to see Boyalley on the top of this one.

gimo33 06-21-2006 10:39 AM

great post :thumbsup
ladies read and memorize...read and memorize... :)

d00t 06-21-2006 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bdjuf
good post!

you were rather quick to post in this thread :pimp

Devastation 06-21-2006 11:55 AM

any blowjob is a good blowjob

czarina 06-21-2006 11:56 AM

wow! good info... I should practice tonight, and let you know tomorrow how it went :)

axelcat 06-21-2006 11:57 AM

haha lol

Blake Diesel 06-21-2006 12:00 PM

Amazing notes!! :2 cents:

Mike Semen 06-21-2006 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lance69
Personally I love having my cock bit. Just not on the head, way to sensitive! Shit I've had teeth marks all up on the shaft, and loved it!
I like to play the how low can you make the teeth marks on the shaft game! :thumbsup

Interesting. Might have to ask for that next time. I quite like having it slapped hard in the middle of a bj.

emthree 06-21-2006 12:01 PM

#1 Post of the week.

ffmihai 06-21-2006 12:02 PM

good stuff!

GlydeGirl 06-21-2006 12:02 PM

Great tips FLAir, thanks for sharing! I love oral sex, both giving and receiving, and agree with your tips! My man and I love to give each other oral pleasure for about 45 minutes in a session.... slow, enjoyabe, & inspired.

I also have a recommendation for women who want to get better at blowjobs... put on some rhythmic music and "jam" to it using your tongue and mouth as "percussion" to the grooves of the music. By doing that you get out of your "head" and the whole "am-I-doing-it-righ"t mindset and get into the soul of the experience... you get in better touch with your partner's body language, you get inspired as to different things to do... it's really a great technique in my books!

SweetJeanette 06-21-2006 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobG
Can I add...

11. Don't claim to be all good at it or like "I give the best bj's" and shit. Chances are if you make that claim, the guy is gonna be like, "eh, it wasn't that great."

:2 cents:

Lol, not in my case. When I say I give the best bj's, it's true! Lol I didn't start saying it until I started getting compliments about how good I was. :thumbsup

shermo 06-21-2006 12:37 PM

Great thread! I remember posting this on Blowjob Blog. Love rehashing funny stuff! :)

pussyluver 06-21-2006 12:41 PM

Flair r u male or female and are you over 18.

Should BoyAlley ask you out or some of the rest of us?

Pics would be nice to go along with the instructions. perhaps an instructional video?

FLAiR 06-21-2006 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyluver
Flair r u male or female and are you over 18.

Should BoyAlley ask you out or some of the rest of us?

Pics would be nice to go along with the instructions. perhaps an instructional video?

male.. and im not saying my age.. (im quite young) :pimp

germ 06-21-2006 12:58 PM

i will be printing out this thread and handing copies to girls i meet.

FLAiR 06-21-2006 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyluver
Flair r u male or female and are you over 18.

Should BoyAlley ask you out or some of the rest of us?

Pics would be nice to go along with the instructions. perhaps an instructional video?

another thing.. i am gay.. so that mite put you off abit from the ermm.. post? :1orglaugh

AdultInsider Cloner 06-21-2006 01:08 PM

good posting

J. Falcon 06-21-2006 01:10 PM

Great ponti lol!!

ClearHead 06-21-2006 01:15 PM

very useful for girls and not only for girls :)

HpicAnn 06-21-2006 01:18 PM

Great blowjob tips :1orglaugh

I'm a sig whore 06-21-2006 01:21 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

GatorB 06-21-2006 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FLAiR
10 Worst Blowjob Mistakes
2.. Going too fast

Some guys enjoy a quickie, but unless they're in a hurry to get back to work or back to their wife/girlfriend, most men like to savor the experience of getting their cock sucked. So don't rush them. It's not a race to see how fast you can get him to spurt. Take your time and make it last. Concentrate on different parts of his penis, or his balls, then go back to basic sucking and stroking. At the end of a luxuriant BJ session, he'll blow a much larger, more satisfying load.

I guess I'm different than most here. It takes me forever to cum if at all from a BJ so unless a girl goes fast then I aint cumming. Also I don't like licking the balls and shit. In fact stopping at all to lick anything is a no no. Just suck and hope I can get off in less than 15 minutes.

giftedtwisted 06-21-2006 04:26 PM

This should be an amendment to the U.S. constitution

pussyluver 06-21-2006 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FLAiR
another thing.. i am gay.. so that mite put you off abit from the ermm.. post? :1orglaugh


The gay part is fine, just not me. BoyAlley's cup of tea. The age part will be important.

Don't understand how anyone in adult can be put off just cause someone is gay???

pussyluver 06-21-2006 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giftedtwisted
This should be an amendment to the U.S. constitution

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh Amen!

Scott McD 06-21-2006 04:35 PM

I'm defo forwarding this onto my gf...

tony286 06-21-2006 04:35 PM

good post forwarding to the women I know lol

T - Bone 06-21-2006 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by czarina
wow! good info... I should practice tonight, and let you know tomorrow how it went :)

A real student to the game... Nice.

Interested to see how things turn out...

I can remember trying something I read in a Maxim on a my lady and thinking "holly shit this actually works?" She loved it!

FLAiR 06-21-2006 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyluver
The gay part is fine, just not me. BoyAlley's cup of tea. The age part will be important.

Don't understand how anyone in adult can be put off just cause someone is gay???


yeah.. well about my age put it this way im legal in UK :winkwink: :1orglaugh

BigasMoe 06-21-2006 04:42 PM

Excellent Post!

Relish XXX 06-21-2006 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lance69
Personally I love having my cock bit. Just not on the head, way to sensitive! Shit I've had teeth marks all up on the shaft, and loved it!
I like to play the how low can you make the teeth marks on the shaft game! :thumbsup

Dam I agree with you. I like it rough and I like the girls gnashers to be fucking biting.


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