GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - One Night At The U.s. Border

Last night in San Diego....Two guys ( C. and B.) and I decide to go to Tijuana...I didn't really decide? I found myself in the taxi cab that was going to the Border....

We cross the border and where do we go? Endelita or something ? a very elegant and refined Mexican bar?..let?s say it was a bar?..

?.well they served beer!

After the party?we returned to the border, 15 minutes in line and it?s my turn to show the I.D.?

Now I was born in Italy but I became an American citizen therefore I am not required to carry my naturalization papers with me all the times.

The U.S. Custom agent checks my I.D. , asks the usual questions and then after hearing my accent asks where was I born.
I explained to him I was born in Italy but I am an American citizen therefore I didn?t have my passport with me nor my green card. I usually carry my wallet with the Green card in it but that night I didn?t think I was gonna need it?..bad thinking!
The Agent sent me with a big orange paper to another officer who sent me in a room for further verification.
From this point I felt like in a movie?.
I was so lucky to share the room with Andy, a 14 yo kid who went to a party in Tijuana lost his I.D., wallet and virginity and ..yes?he was drunk?. of course!
Then I met Mitch another 21 yo who actually jumped the fence of the border to come in the U.S ?nobody knows why because he had a regular I.D. and he was a normal American boy beside the fact that he was intoxicated and the ? goonies ? were chasing him?literally this is what he said! LOL
Here is when I got upset, another bright intoxicated teenager came in the room, he started crying and hitting the wall with his head?.cause ?he was fucked?.... his words?
Well the kid had a violation and a ticket unpaid therefore he thought he was going to jail but that gentle soul of the Agent on duty (the ?big man? in that office AKA LTgeneralCaptanNemoMotherfuckersupervisorsupeassho le) decided to let him go as long as he was never going to show up again at the U.S. border or otherwise blab bla bla bla bullshit?
I asked why you let him go and I am still here?
The answer: ?keep you mouth shut if you don?t want to stay here for a week!?
So nice and gentle these U.S. custom Agents.
Oh..By the way I went in that room at 1:15 AM?at 4:00 finally they let me know that if I wanted to go back in the States I had to pay a waiver: $ 265.00 or go back to Tijuana?
The best part came when once left the room I went to some sort of Ticket office outside in the parking lot.
There I had the pleasure to assist at two arrests of two guys: one guy had marijuana in his car, embedded in his car seat to be precise and the other was just too drunk to realize that he was urinating on one of the walls of the Agents office.
Finally I filled out the papers to get the waiver, I explained in vain that the previous Thursday I crossed the border from MX to USA using just my I.D, I tried until the end ...but nothing worked....
Here the last funny episode?.with me waiting for the waiver there was Roberto, a nice Mexican construction worker who lost his wallet.
Robert spoke decent English?until when the U.S. Border Agent ZHAO called him up to explain how to fill out the papers for the waiver.
Agent ZHAO was a short Asian man, I am sure fully naturalized, with a beautiful U.S. Border Agent uniform, a huge shimmering badge and he who could barely be seen from the other side of the counter?.
All of a sudden Agent ZHAO started screaming at Roberto saying:

?You HAS to speak English to come in America, YOU GOT??

I finally got my waiver, paid $ 265.00, jumped on a taxi for hotel, paid $ 60.00 I and finally went in bed at 6:00 AM

I would like to thank the U.S. Border Agents, Mr. Zhao in particular for the entertaining night!