Everything I know, I read from bathroom walls...
 

Here I sit...
Broken hearted,
Tried to shit, but only farted,
Then one day I took a chance,
Tried to fart, and shit my pants.

Here I sit,
Buns a flexin'...
Just gave birth
To a foot-long Texan!

Truly as old as hell, but I am glad you can read and write and better in your pants than on the floor:(

He who writes on bathroom walls...
Rolls his shit into little balls...
He who reads these words of wit...
Eats those little balls of shit!