What it Means to Be a Republican
 

What it Means to Be a Republican


Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.


The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born( in perpetuity.)

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Bravo! Well Done...He speaks the truth...


I would never vote republican (unless I was filthy rich..:) )


I'm gonna bump this outstanding thread everyday for 2 weeks!

now that's funny!

heh, after reading the first few I thought to myself "I should quote these for emphasis"... but then they all rang true lol

Cut your hair, hippy! Haha.

some interesting stuff here

What makes you think Bush is Republican? A lot of Republicans would disagree that he truly is.

a lot of truth to that :1orglaugh

fair points, well made

Damned funny, yet sadly true Tony! :1orglaugh

BTW.. I never really got the "Jesus freak" stuff while I lived in the US. I'd be first in line to respecting the beliefs of others, but it was hard to not be cynical when I ended up (don't ask!) in a warehouse full of "What would Jesus do?" (WWJD) bracelets and junk with religious icons and text all over em.

Always thought - are folks so retarded or whatever they can be marketed this stuff??

PS.. Marketing religion in the US is one profitable business :pimp

If one does a google on GOP or Republican many conflicting definitions are found. Same holds true for DNC, liberal or democrat.

For the most part both parties flip flop around trying to define themselves to get the most votes.

More than you could fathom!

:1orglaugh You think??

Butter, porn, bibles - it's all the same.

Actually the best job in the world is being a Republican congressman. You don't have to do anything but mail in your vote according to the party line and you get free trips and all kinds of other cool perks.

I have a friend that sells sheet music for churches. I would say that she makes a nice 350k a year, and only has 4 employees.

You cant find a democrat that explain economic theory. If you find one trying to, you should realize they are just pretending.

Most keyboard warriors are kids and weren't around when Reagan shut up the entire democratic party with the trickle down theory.

If your democrat candidate is explaining economics, you should find another candidate. Most of them avoid the topic at all costs.

US ESTABLISHMENT NONCE WATCH!

* Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

* Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

* Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

* Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

* Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

* Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

* Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

* Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

* Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

* Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

* Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

* Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

* Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

* Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

* Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

* Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.

* Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

* Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

* Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

* Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

* Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

* Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

* Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

* Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

* Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

fucked up

9 out of 10 Republicans is either a terrorist or a child molestor.

That's as ignorant as saying that you can't find a republican that understands where to place an auxiliary verb in a sentence :1orglaugh

Nice 20K trade! (congrats)

It would probably help if the Republican President could understand the words 'Economic Theory'. America at the moment doesnt have an economy just a huge debt to countries like China.

That's hilarious

what's funny about this is if democrats put as much effort into policy as they do into trite little paragraphs, they might win an election.:1orglaugh

Great post, all true.

Most people think the US is in a recession at the moment. That couldn't be further from the truth. The democrats have done a good job of using keyboard warriors to convince people our economy is horrible.

7 out of 10 people polled claimed our economy had problems. Less than 4 out of those 7 said they were negatively affected.

Truth be told, the average person doesn't understand the economy and the democrats get votes because of it.

The people saying we are in trouble because of our debt are the same ones that thought Bill Clinton actually balanced the budget. Those people need to check the source of their information.

I'm not saying debt is good, but the sky is not falling. There are far bigger problems in the US other than the debt.

Can you explain how raising taxes on the wealthy will help the country. Remember, the majority of the people earning an income are paid from the income of the wealthy people.

Also, please explain how implementing socialized medicine will decrease income of the average working family while rewarding people who chose not to contribute to our society. While you are at it, please explain how technoligical advances will be wiped out with the socialized healthcare.

I really dont give a rats ass how you use your verbs while doing so.

heh, this says just about all anyone needs to know of your own understanding of economic theory.

do people's paychecks come from a corporation or from the private checking account of some 'wealthy' person?

LOL

hmm, lengthy explanation of common sense? no, I've got better things to do.

it is one of the party list of USA...correct me if im wrong