Garage sale patrons BLOCK my Driveway - grrrrrr
 

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They are actually PARKED across my driveway - I should ram the motherfuckers

Have them towed. It's more satisfying.

they're gone before the tow truck shows up

Yeah, but there'll be new ones when he gets there probably.

I love garage sales!

Anything good for sale at least?

Piss on the door handles and videotape it

Piss? Damn amateur.
He should take skuftys shit, place it under the doorhandle (wearing plastic gloves or bag on his hand). After the poo is neatly tucked in the handle, wipe it clean.
Nothing quite as satisfying as getting dogpoo under your fingernails when there's no place to wash it clean.

did you have to leave?

have em towed

You could always take some spark plugs and break the ceramic out of them and throw it at their windows. It spiders the glass.

This is pure genious :) I bet it would make them think twice before doing it again.