This is Fucking Funny
 

Hey Y?all It?s me, Britney Spears!

It?s been such a big week for me! I was in New York promoting my brand new fragrance "In Control," when I decided that I should tell my friend David Letterman about my second pregnancy. My plan wasn?t to tell the whole world ? I just wanted Dave to know since he?s like, one of my best friends. However, after a lot of begging on his part and a lot of buckets of fried chicken for me, I relented.

It actually feels kinda good to get that secret off my chest. I?m sure you heard that I cried when I found out I was pregnant again, but it?s only because I was so excited. I was losing way too much weight and was starting to look hot again, so getting pregnant is the blessing in disguise that will allow me to eat tons of Cheetos! More cushion for the pushin?! Or maybe the saying is "Save a Whale. Harpoon a Fat Chick"...I?m too fat to remember right now.

In other news, Kevin still thinks he?s black. Sometimes he wears black face to bed because he thinks it turns me on. Sadly, no matter how much black paint he puts on his Little Popozao, it?ll never be up to black man standards.

I got my hair done real nice recently. My hair stylist gave me some pretty blonde highlights and bangs! She said bangs will hide my bizarrely ugly widows peak, but my husband is totally alive, so I really don?t know what she meant by that.

I went shopping in Santa Monica today with Sean Preston and ran into Jessica Alba! She?s such a sweet girl! I could tell that even Sean was smitten because he immediately propositioned her for a threesome. Aww, he?s growing up to be just like his daddy!

Well, I guess that?s all for now. I have to get back to ruining my career - I?ll talk to ya?ll later!

Love and Fat,

Britney Spears
Backwoods Lover/Baby Mama

when does it get funny?

i totally care about famous people.