GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - Need Cheap Shared Hosting Account

I need a cheap shared hosting account for my mission crtical e-mail that meets all of the following requirements.

Unlimited POP3s/Forwarders
SquirrelMail Installed
Support for two domains
Lots of Disk Space (500 MB Would be a Good Number)
Transfer Will Be Minimal
Server MUST Be Up All The Time (You Will Get Yelled at EVERY Time it Goes Down)
ControlPanel: cPanel or DirectAdmin
Server (or at least my account) MUST Be Backed Up. If you lose my data, it wont be pretty.
Payment by ePass or Credit Card (NO PayPal)
No Setup Fees

I need constant access to my e-mail all the time without exception. I need to be able to get to my e-mail even when *my* NOC is down.

I changed ISPs a while back and now I am locked out of a domain account that I forgot the password to and they are making me fax in everything, I am tired of this bullshit so I am going to host my e-mail at my own domain and use web-based only. I dont get alot of e-mail and I dont spam, this is all legit e-mail. Bandwidth useage will be minimal.

The host who sells me an account will love me, this will be one of those accounts you never hear from, unless, of course, your server takes a nosedive.

Spam away.

No see sigs and click here. If you cant take the time to actually tell me about your product and want my money, you can, with all due respect, go fuck yourself. :)