Every have a "foot-in-the-mouth" moment?
 

I've had quite a few and that is probably one of the main reasons why I think before I talk now.

When I was younger I worked at T.G.I.Fridays as a server. I go up to a table, introduce myself and ask them if I could get them something to drink. They look at me, look at each other, and then continue to read the menu. I repeat my question and receive the same reaction. So I do the fake sign language thing and do the whole talking like a deaf person thing as a joke. Well, it turns out the man at the table really was deaf and was waiting for his lady companion to translate what I was asking. :Oh crap

Same restaurant this lady comes up to me and asks me if another server is around. So I go in the back and find her in the smoke area and tell her that someone is out front to see her. She asked who it was and I said, "I don't know. Some fucking ugly fat bitch that probably wants to complain about our small food portions!". Turns out it was her mom. :Oh crap

Here's another one and the sad part is that these are all 100% absolutely true and not pulled from some mass email or website. When I was 17 I was a host at our local Red Lobster. When couples would come in with their kids I would jokingly say, "2 and a half?" - and it was alway met with laughs and smiles. So one Friday night we're totally slammed and I see out of the corner of my eye a lady, a man, and a kid. So I grab 2 adult menus and the kid's menu and say, "2 and a half?" That's when I hear the "midget voice", you know the voice and it barked out, "Um, pardon me but I consider myself a full person!". I looked back and it was a midget. :Oh crap

How about you? Ever have one of those moments when you just want to crawl under a dark rock and die?

Damn, those are bad. I guess I've been lucky.

I think we all do those sorts of things in our lives... I think it starts at this age in life http://talldarkandmysterious.ca/pictures/babyms.jpg



and continues till the Grimm Reaper comes a callinghttp://file005.bebo.com/mediuml/2006...02369520ml.jpg

Just my thoughts on that:2 cents:

sure is embarassing.. I must have forgotten all of them

Had one the other night. I have a friend who was hit by a train while riding his motorcycle about 10 years ago. Lost a good portion of his arms and one of his legs.

Anyway, he was over drinking beer at my place and he seen my Sin City DVD on the table. He asked if it was any good and I said "hell ya"... and proceeded to describe the scene where Mickey Rourke cuts off Frodo's (whatever that guy's name is) arms and legs.

After I said it I kinda glanced at his arms (he's got hooks for hands that he controls with back muscles) and realized I touched on a shitty subject. He had just spent his last day in court not a week earlier in his legal battle against CN Rail for not having the railway crossing marked properly, so he was kinda bitter about the whole subject at that point.

Not a good idea to mention how cool it was to see arms getting chopped off to a guy who actually had his own arms chopped off.

I have made the "So, when are you due?" faux pas more times than I can feel proud of.

2hp

Thankfully haven't embarrassed myself that way..those were good

I asked a guy with a eye patch if he was into pirates and shit, and he said "no, I am missing this eye"

The other day i was waiting in line at the bank behind this regular joe there was a woman at the counter with short shorts on and HUGE TITTIES, all I wispered just enough "god damn" the guy turns around and says im not in line

i move up she finishes and walked out with him i was like im glad he didnt catch onto that hehe

I once said "swear on my mother's grave" to someone. Found out later their mother died 5 days earlier.

Once goofed on a client named "Wang" to a new guy at work. Found out later the new guy's name was also "Wang."

Me and a buddy were in the change room at the gym, and for some reason we were doing fat albert impressions... and who walks around the corner a 400Lb black guy...

this was so weird because it's probably the only time I've ever done a fat albert impression..

Good Stuff hahaha8211; I have had several golden moments.

One my wife was in. My wife was in line at our bank with our 4-year old daughter. Our daughter was being rambunctious that day and in line at the bank. My wife tells our daughter, hahaha8220;If you do not settle down, or are not going to be allowed to spend the night at grandmahahaha8217;s tonight.hahaha8221; As quick as can be, our daughter yells out to my wife, hahaha8220;Ohahaha8217;yea hahaha8211; and if I do not get to spend the night with grandma, Ihahaha8217;m going to tell grandma I saw you kissing daddyhahaha8217;s pee-pee last night. My wife ran out of the bank when everyone in the bank busted out laughing.

Another fine moment, my wife had our son in the bathroom at her in Kings Island (local amusement park. He was five at the time; she could not leave him alone. While in the bathroom stall with my wife, my son starts yelling out, hahaha8220;THERE IS A STRING IN YOUR BUTT MOMMY.hahaha8221; The bathroom was full, the line was out the door. My son kept repeating over and over, MOMMY, THERE IS A STRING IN YOUR BUTT, LET ME PULL IT OUT FOR YOU MOMMY.hahaha8221; Everyone in the restroom was busting a gut laughing. My wife stayed in the restroom for about hahaha189; hour waiting for everyone that heard this left the building. Needless to say, I heard about it. That was the last time my son went in the restroom with my wife.

How about the time you said "My family gave their lives for this County, not yours. Get the fuck out of my Country." to me and didn't have the balls to answer to it? :1orglaugh

I got this one in my email a few weeks ago, along with several other anecdotes of "cute" things kids say. Nice try though.

an officemate showed me a video of him and his band playing. the video was shot by someone with shaky hands, like that in Blair Witch movie. I said "who's the fucker who took this video?" It turned out it was his girlfriend.

You are a real fuck - I did post a responce. Move on.

This happened several year ago. Where did you see it? I enteresd it in a contest a few years ago on a blog site - It was in the top third. The blog site was sponsored by ocal radio station. www.WEBN.com

Sorry - The first one (about the bank) I heard too, it did not happen to my wife. Just thought it was better in first person. The second (Pull your string) did happen. We won $250 from www.WEBN.com

when I was 18-19 I worked at burgerking the late night shift and when we were bored we created Retard races where we act like special olympics contestents and would run around the store we hired a new employee and he wanted to see I asked this girl to look in the lobby see if anyone was there so me and 3 others started the race at one point in the race I fall and try to get back up when I rolled over there were a table of 2 "special kids" with thier parents or whoever they were... needless to say I was fired the next day

Both cute stories though. I think we don't give kids enough credit sometimes... and then they surprise us and come up with things like that that catch us (and everybody around us) totally off-guard.

Whining about an ICQ wasn't an answer to my question. You're not man enough to stand up to what you said. What a pathetic excuse for a man you are. Not big enough to admit you don't know shit about me or my family and that you were talking out your self-righteous American ass. Man the fuck up.

:1orglaugh BUSTED!




What a fucking tool! :1orglaugh

Was at the end of a first date with a girl and was moving in for the good-night kiss. Called he by her friend's name.... I never saw or heard from her again.

:(

only when I say 'see sig' in public :(