Girls!!..This is how it is - live by it or leave us alone!
 

Ok Girls - now we hear the guys' side - These are our rules!
Do not bend them, this will only result in total confusion !!!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down.
> 2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
> can
> find the perfect present yet again!
> 3. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
> 4. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
> 5. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
> 6. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
> way.
> 7. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
> 8. Crying is blackmail.
> 9. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
> work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
> 10. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> calendar.
> Remind us frequently beforehand.
> 11. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
> be
> any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
> dress?
> 12. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> 13. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> 14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> 15. Check your oil! Please.
> 16. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> 17. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
> to
> act like soap opera guys.
> 18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> 19. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
> 20. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
> not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> 21. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
> 22. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> 23. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
> we were going out.
> Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
> 24. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
> for
> example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
> what mauve is.
> 25. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> 26. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
> ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
> 27. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 28. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape:winkwink: :winkwink: :winkwink:

I read like two of those, knew where it was going and determined it would be a big waste of my time to read the rest... so a great big go fuck yourself to you.

I wonder how often you get laid with intelligence like that. You must be fighting them off!

heheh :1orglaugh
well i clerely see you do not get the point :321GFY

Funny as hell ! That's a good one!

This one's better:MEN'S 43 RULES FOR WOMEN


1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the
toilet UP when you are done.

2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include
something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried,
Beer, and Red.

3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the
fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are
cretins deserving your contempt.

5. Shopping is not fascinating.

6. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he
is only joking.
7. Unless the answer is yes.
8. In which case, can he videotape it?

9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

10. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick
and/or tending the grill.

11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across
the room is not funny.

12. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.

13. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie:
Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with
roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their
infant when it walks for the first time.

14. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.

15. He heard you the first time.

16. You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection
around a little.

17. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really
want the answer to.

18. Of COURSE he wants another beer.

19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot.

20. Dogs good. Cats bad.

21. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.

22. If he has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit
through "Showgirls".

23. "Fine." is not an acceptable way to end an argument.


24. Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by
suggesting he stop for directions.

25. He was NOT looking at that other girl.
26. Well, okay... maybe a little.
27. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you've
never looked at another guy..

28. There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "cunt".

29. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man
you have ever met.
30. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.

31. Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look
fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.

32. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will NEVER fake an orgasm.

33. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual
flow with him.

34. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if
left in the shower.

35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

36. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine,
Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to
wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.

37. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than
you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better
looking than a him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating
any of these people, love the one you're with.

38. Of course size matters, and boy does he have the grandaddy of
them all.

39. His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/
impossibly thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.

40. Don't hog the covers.

41. Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait
until the halftime show to act upon that...

42. He does not just want to be friends.

43. A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the
sentence: "You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and
stay here having freaky circus sex all night?"

:1orglaugh

It was a joke...oh my god.

I think all this men vs. women, women vs. men bull shit just makes me crazy.

haha real sweet there Loch!

Patchs

awesome post Loch.... :thumbsup

Yea, but some of it's funny. C'mon...you know some of those are funny just because they're so stereotyped.

"1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. "

Tell me that isn't funny just because it's so stupid.

When it's overdone, it can be annoying. But it is just a joke. And you should take it as such. I doubt most (read most, not all!) of the guys are anywhere near as bad as the stuff they post :winkwink:

:321GFY

good one for sure :1orglaugh

thats because you are female

very good point. :)

lol... that just hurts my head. :1orglaugh

lmao:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Joke HuH :uhoh

*Runs like hell before Nina sees this* :1orglaugh

lol... you can run but you're still getting a good spanking! :Kissmy

Nothing but the truth here.

This is not a joke. It is funny because it is true.

Men are not complicated. Women are complicated and therefore try to make men complicated, but we are not.

Ooo! Me too! I told him to do it...

Hahahahaha

Oh c'mon Nina, you gotta admit, some of these are relly damn funny...

This is my favorite:

9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.


So true... So true...

twinkley


Don't forget to stop by our wend of the week wrap! We will be shootin the shit from 3 to 4 pm est. so stop by and tell us whats up with you! http://www.theadultwebmaster.com/chat

or on irc /server irc.theadultwebmaster.com / join #events

damn, I should have read them all... that one is funny :1orglaugh


And I'll see you in the chat... I hope everyone will come by... we can talk about women, men, spanking... whatever!

This one belongs on Seinfeld -- how true... eheh

"19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot."

Have a look at
and
contradiction.. it makes you horny, not crazy :Graucho

crying IS blackmail =''(

Loch, that's so true I'm scared. 30 minutes before GF comes home. Gonna print that out for her. (No sex today for me)

Great list, very funny!

nah... I'm just always horny! :winkwink:

:321GFY

11. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Can someone explain that to Eva. I put on the first thing I find in the cupboard and she acts like I'm a fashion critic :Graucho

Of course it was. I'm a man! :thumbsup

Bwahahah. j/k.

How do you know a women said something intelligent?

She'll start of with "A man once told me...!"

*starts walking*:Graucho

HAHAH....my gf saw the post just after i hit the submit button.

Luckely she is always good for a "joke" hehhe
But really folkes....some of the points are very true..."cut in stone" yes but true :1orglaugh

I've always heard if you crack a man's head open .. there would be a bunch of little pussies running around in it ....not much room left for reasoning, thinking outside their own maleness, or remembering. which explains the need of a list - and the reason they can't grasp simple things - and need to have it written down, explained, and reminded of them.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule..
like the woman that pees standing up - she could care less where the toilet seat is.
I just wish some MAN would get up in the middle of the night and go sit on the stool and get a nice pissy ass dunking though.



:321GFY

I think I defy the laws of women like a bird defies gravity. None of that shit is important, or worth fighting over. If you're not strong enough to make your own decision about what freakin' shoes to wear you have no business being involved in a relationship.


I guess being the only female chef working in resturaunts for 5 years makes you learn how to fend for yourself. Guy's are funny! I love their company, share their sick sense of humor, and laugh it off with a sexy smile. The differences between men and women is a comedy as old as time. I have to give it to you guys tho, some girls are just plain psycho!

Ahh, that list takes me back.

To the fifth grade.

Loch's list is very true. So many things that girls do just have to be regulated like that. Unfortunately, it'll never be that way. :Graucho

AMEN!!!!!
I know sooo many women that make me sad to even say I am a woman. I guess being raised around mostly ALL men, I have always been friends with mostly all men, and I have always worked around mostly all men, so I relate to them more than I ever have women.......

If ya can't laugh at yourself then life is pretty damn boring and wayyyyyyy toooo damn serious. I personally laughed my damn ass off at all of these. LMAO

you are a crack me up... now go fuck yourself....

:321GFY

lol... if you can't take the heat... just get out

LOL, just kinda sad most of us stay there for 30 years :Graucho
Or is it :uhoh

GO FUCK YOURSELVES!


IT'S ALL ABOUT GIRL POWER!!!