Jerking off @ the office
 

You guys know what it feels like: that hard-on that just won't stop, that won't go down no matter what you do or what you think about. The only way to tame the beast is by slapping it. It happens now and then, and shouldn't be mistaken for the regular hard-ons that comes and goes.

Now, once a while this beast is awoken when I'm at work, which happened the other day. Overcome by the desire and the need to get it down (lunch was coming up), I placed my raging hard-on so that it couldn't be seen, put my sweater over and headed for the bathroom. Once there I was faced with this dilemma, which I want to know if any of you guys out there has ever faced:

When you go into the toilet you can always assume that someone have to go in right after you, in other words: someone might be standing outside waiting for you to finish. But beating off takes more time than taking a piss, even if you wrestle the one eyed warrior in a tempo that makes the right arm cramp up, it usually takes the same amount of time as if you're taking a dump. So it's safe to assume that anyone standing outside waiting for you to finish - thus have to wait at least 5 minutes - will think that you're taking a shit.

But then, when you come out all red in the face and breathing heavily as if taken the shit of your life, they go in and they can't smell any foul stench, they surely must put two-and-two together? I don't want to be known as the jerk-off (litterally) in the office.

What can I do?

One word: saltpeter.

Jerk off in your cubicle.

Brut, you sick motherfucker. I am telling dad

Invite them into your stall.

Friends who play together...stay together.

Yah, only problem would be I would go nuts and shoot everywhere. Hitting everyone and everything around me. It would be the most awesome disaster the world has ever seen....so I don't think that would be an option :Graucho

Under the desk my good man! Leave it for the janitor! hahaha

On a more disgusting note:

When I got my cable conection, the guy came over and installed a card into the back of my PC.

Being that my PC is kept under my desk, he had to be down on his hands and knees under my desk installing the thing.

Let me remind you people... I somtimes masteurbate up to four times a day.

I felt so bad for that poor guy down there.

Ack!

Whoa.. You don't clean yer shit up when yer done? lol. You should invest in a sock :winkwink:

Yeah, exxx, you need a cum rag or something man.. that's just not coo'

but it's NATURAL

I'm pretty sure the cable guys sees things differently! hehehehe

fill the room up with airfreshener or strike a bunch of matches as if you'd taken a shit. and don't forget to put the seat down before you walk out....i've been editing and reviewing our xpleasures videos, it's a *HARD* fucking job and sometimes when things get in the way, you just have to take care of business....

Simple --- carry a "stall broken" sign with you at all times. When you have to wank, just hang the sign and no one will bother you at all.

BTW, does anyone wanna buy woodywrench.com? How about pudpulley.com? yankywank.com? Just curious.
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Join a site with some old and fat people.
Whenever you feel you need to jerk off. Go look at the members area :Graucho
I can give you some discount for www.oldnfat.com :thumbsup

I dont know what to tell you Brut, I never have been faced with that kind of delima. :winkwink:

But, this may help, click on the thread called "This chick is hot"
that may shrink your dink.

Where you been, man? It makes me nervous when you disappear like that for so long...ya know, wolves and shit...

Brut:

How can you jerk off knowing there are other men wandering around a few feet away from ya!

Look under the door and wait till you see 'no feet' :1orglaugh

look here:
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...threadid=59122

and the hardon will die in less than 2 secs!

Normaly i take a jerk at the morning and the night..
when the porno movies start on tv.. vivid is good to jerk off
to ..

You guys still get hard to porn? Maybe I have been at this too long. =/ Pictures and Movies don't do anything to me anymore.

You should try out the ladies' room instead. Open a stall door with some gal sitting on the throne & say in a low deep voice "Open up & I'll see to it that you get a raise!" :Graucho