I hired a new Butler today.
 

His name is Boris. He's Russian and looks a lot like Lurch from The Adams Family....only taller. He keeps bumping his head into my crystal chandeliers.

He came as a package deal with a midget sidekick named Beaner. The midget has buck teeth and a flat head. He will be popular with the beer drinkers at my next party.

...And you're griping at ME about starting bullshit threads.


Come the fuck on.

??????? booze or drugs?

Mental retardation and boredom.

what's up with the midget thing?

Well...boredom at least.

Perhaps I should not have cancelled my shoot today....But I just didn't feel like working.

If I had a hammock.....I'd be laying in it while my new Butlers fanned me with palm leaves and fed me peeled grapes.

The dude can carry an appetiser platter on his head and not spill it all evening plus he is the perfect serving height and his teeth can open beer bottles.

Can you do that?