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-   -   Traffic trading 101 for the fucking clueless morons. (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=590301)

Protein Pistol 03-24-2006 05:45 AM

Traffic trading 101 for the fucking clueless morons.
 
See notes at end of this page to explain why its un fucking readable.

Day in and day out I get traffic trade requests and half the time I wonder why the fuck I bother.

Webmasters who host and own their own domain yet don't have a 404 page!! , you nag me for a gallery link and then a few weeks later you send "MY" traffic to a blank web page saying file not found!, con fucking granulations you dumb ass fuckwit, you pissed "my" surfer off and "you" lost the opportunity of a sale because your so fucking incompetent you can't set up the simplest of scripts to redirect traffic.

You should be dragged out of bed in the middle of the night and be beaten whipped and ass raped before being shot between the eyes, once dead you should be revived beaten flogged ass raped shot and revived again.

Not only does a default 404 page make your site look like a worthless pile of shit but it also makes anybody else's site that links to you look crap. Its so fucking easy to fix, search google for "404 .htaccess", solutions vary with different web hosting.

INDEX.HTML Are you fucking crazy?

If your trading traffic to a page that uses "index.html" "index.htm" etc then your a fucking clueless nut case, don't give up your day job. Look in any webstat your trading with and you will see

h**p#:&/*myshitdomain.co*m/galleries
h**p#:&/*ww*w.myshitdomain.co*m/galleries/
h**p#:&/*myshitdomain.co*m/galleries/index.html
h**p#:&/*ww*w.myshitdomain.co*m/galleries/index.html

Traffic trading scripts are not very bright and and cannot recognize that all four of the above links are the same, maximize your trading power by using a link like h**p#:&/*myshitdomain.co*m/galleries/anythingbutindex.html

ok now in the webstats you've minimized traffic to just two URL's instead of four simply by avoiding index.html

h**p#:&/*myshitdomain.co*m/galleries/anythingbutindex.html
h**p#:&/*ww*w.myshitdomain.co*m/galleries/anythingbutindex.html

now to the ww*w. .... some worthless bastard at some time invented the ww*w. and what does the ww*w. do? .... it does fuck all but confuse traffic trading scripts into sending you less traffic than you deserve, you will always see h**p:&/*myworthlessdomain.co*m/ and h**p#:/&*ww*w.myworthlessdomain.co*m/ yet you only tend to get full credit for one of them.

There are scripts available to force your web page to display ww*w.myshitdomain.co*m instead of myshitdomain.co*m, I'm not here to wipe your ass, search google yourself you lazy bastard.

ITS THAT FUCKING SIMPLE

get your own 404 page, "don't" use index.html and force your domain to use ww*w.

If you understand the above then merry fucking Christmas, otherwise go blow a goat.

:321GFY

NOTE *** have been added to url's because the fuctards that set up the forum won't let me post a URL until I've made 30 posts saying click my fucking sig

.............................

Jesus H fucking Christ I can't even post my message because the paranoid script kiddies who set up the forum still think I'm posting URL's even though I've used *** in the links, get a life you sad bastards and learn to program properly :mad:

Try using search and replace "*" with your knob and read it again

.............................

Un fucking real Ive obliterated all the url's and the forum is still whining like a bitch saying " you must make at least 30 spam posts beffore you can post a URL"

LENSMAN for fucks sakes sack your clueless forum programmers, they are efective in preventing spam but idiots non the less.

I'm fucking stuck now, I typed all this shit to help the worthless noobs (and old timers) but I can't post it because the forum admin have been blowing too many goats.

I've added a # before the :, this really is garbage spam protection.


AND STILL I GET THE FUCKING MESSAGE "You are only allowed to post URLs to other sites after you have made 30 (spam) posts or more."

I'm not posting a url you stupid worthless sack of shit, if you don't understand the concept of a URL being broken down into a protocol user data a sub domain a domain a TLD an IP address a directory tree a filename and a fucking file extension then please stop trying to block something you clearly know fuck all about. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I can imagine my next error message is going to be , "too many smilies used in this post" I HATE RETARDS.

Now I've added a & after the : but without knowing what character strings the incompetent paranoid moron used for spam filtering its looking like this post is going to be impossible.

un fucking real it still won't post, LENSMAN SACK YOUR FORUM PROGRAMMER HE IS STUPID!!!!

I give in, I can type anything I want here because nobody will ever read it :)

lensman sucks my moms cock for $5
It was me that blew up the twin towers.
father Christmas isn't real.
penis pills don't work
space for rent

Protein Pistol 03-24-2006 05:47 AM

at last it posted :winkwink:

Whoever programmed the spam protection for this forum should be shot, don't ever hire them they don't know what they are doing.

zanex 03-24-2006 06:12 AM

say what you really mean ;)
nice nick, btw

Lord Nelson 03-24-2006 06:14 AM

a lot of text.

Downtime 03-24-2006 06:15 AM

This might be the post of the day.

zanex 03-24-2006 06:16 AM

oh, almost forget: thanks for the tips :thumbsup

Protein Pistol 03-24-2006 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Downtime
This might be the post of the day.

It aught to be but the concept is just too simple to sink in.

you might think that the no 404 page is the worst offender but its the index.html that's the biggest traffic leak and many of the biggest traffic trading domains use it.

send donations to [email protected]

elitegirls 03-24-2006 07:02 AM

bump!

good post! welcome to gfy :D

chadglni 03-24-2006 07:06 AM

I like to keep my traffic, no use giving it to somebody else for their crap filtered shit. ;)

ddfGandalf 03-24-2006 07:08 AM

Someone needs a hug :)

nico-t 03-24-2006 07:10 AM

lol very nice post

Screaming 03-24-2006 07:11 AM

honestly that was a good read.

seeric 03-24-2006 07:15 AM

everything you wrote still made sense to me so hopefully the morons you speak of will still be able to decipher it. :thumbsup good post.

Protein Pistol 03-24-2006 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chadglni
I like to keep my traffic, no use giving it to somebody else for their crap filtered shit. ;)

no such thing as "crap traffic"
what you need to do is "convert it"

even Russian hit bot traffic can be fed into unprotected toplists, or img srce the webstat graphic in exchange for some real traffic, doh I just let out an industry secret!!

gornyhuy 03-24-2006 07:28 AM

Thanks for the tips... try not to be such an assmonkey next time you go on a tirade before even posting 30 lousy times.

marko13 03-24-2006 07:30 AM

interesting artical....

chadglni 03-24-2006 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Protein Pistol
no such thing as "crap traffic"
what you need to do is "convert it"

even Russian hit bot traffic can be fed into unprotected toplists, or img srce the webstat graphic in exchange for some real traffic, doh I just let out an industry secret!!

Adult traded traffic is one of the lowest forms of traffic on earth. If I'm going to send my valuable visitors anywhere it will be to my own sites. I have no interest in growing my stat counter with the garbage that gets sent back from even the best of sites.


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