I Can't Fucking Win
 

Okay so i'm getting off work and my wife is working a double shift.
I Call her up to see if she needs anything

She says sure bring me a pizza
So i get out of work
and bring her a Medium pepperoni with onions, green peppers and mushrooms.

I get to the door of her work and she says to me

"Why didn't you bring a large?"

I Can't Win :(

is she my twin sister? I love her!! hehehehe

at least you tried... that should count for something.

i bought my girl a $200 diamond heart pendant.. with rubies in the heart shape.
she lost it the next week.

coulda bought some weed :mad:

Lol that reminds me of another story.

i had a $500 gold bracelet sitting on top of the toilet, she knocked it in and because she was mad at me, she flushed the toilet instead of getting it out.

I got a little angry but hey she's my baby

Ah hell happens all the time..Dont even ask just get it.. Pizza is good to have in the fridge anyways..

kill her.

FucKeN woMen....

NicE the craft is just starrting....horny evil high school bitches RuLe

Two lost pairs of Gucci sunglasses $200 each made me... buy her a third pair. :321GFY

that movie is my porn ;)
gothic high school girls (who are all 18 by the way ;))) who dig witchcraft....and kill Skeet Ulrich, can't beat that ;)))))

i couldn't kill my baby

http://www.bling.info/us1.jpg

You have only been married for a year.

It just gets worse.

yes a glorious year :BangBang:

hehe

That's nothing.
My wife took everything I bought her for Christmas back and got jewelry. Then she called me a couple of weeks before Valentines Day from a jewelry store and asked if she could by something she wanted and say it was from me.

Now that I'm thinking about it, she took the wedding ring I bought her, a 1/2 ct and got a 1 ct ring.

Oh well, she always knows exactly what to buy me, I have no idea. I could get use to her just picking her own presents out. Less grief for me.

RD

good place for my 100th post .
My exwife took ALL my shit . . . I mean everyfuckingthing.
Good riddance, bitch!

My ex-husband got his hands on some of my cash.. still is.. for another 9 months. Then he's gonna go into debt really fast.. the way he's been living.

i recently settled out of court with my common law 'girlfriend' of 5 years. *not* an experience i ever want to go thru again...

i thought it was 7 years for common law?

not in Canada.

ahh sorry to hear
ditch the next one after 4 years

(just kidding)

That's what happens when you buy cheap ass jewelery.

I bought this old ex-girlfriend of mine a platinum necklace from Tiffany&Co when we were going out....three years later and I can still hit that if I want to.

Not always in the US either. In some states, it can be up to the discretion of the judge. Could even be as short a time as one year. Just has to be proof that your relationship worked like a marital relationship does, ie. joint debts, leases, loans, joint checking accounts, etc.

Me I tipped the $5.00 crack whore a whole extra dollar and she didn't toss my salad:feels-hot

Not to offend, but this does not look good for you my friend! That tends to be the kind of gal that just goes wherever the money is good. Don't think my wife has returned any of the presents I have gotten her in the 10 years we have been together.

Oh dude...you were the guy at the mall playing the Yamaha out in front of Kimballs...shit I thought I recognized it in the background.

So now you're a pornographer eh?

Yeah but I've seen some of the shit your get your wife, it's pretty cool.

damn your guy that said
"wait here, I'll be back with the cash"

i'm still waiting, i get Phat Commission on that sale :1orglaugh

LMFAO

I buy a girl a gold necklace "out of the blue" and thought she would be happy.
Turns out she complains and said I shouldn't waste money for no reason, and she liked silver better.

I was sortive upset but just let it slide.
A few months later and its Valentines day. I buy her lots of stuff and decided to get her a silver necklace as well.
She was happy with everything I bought except complained about the silver necklace, and said gold was better.

I told her to explain. I mean I bought gold and she asked for silver, then I buy silver and she wants gold.

Her explination:
"Buying gold for no reason is a waste of money, but Valentines day is very special and silver isn't special nor romantic enough- but gold is."

Me: But you said you like silver better, right?

Her: Silver is better for day-today wearing, but not on Valentines day which needs to be speical.

Bloody hell women are weird sometimes. :BangBang:

Just ask her why she has to eat so much next time.

We've been together for 8 yrs, that was the first time she did that and I admit, I didn't know what to get her last Christmas. She got me a very nice electric guitar, amp, elect. keyboard, hunting rifle, plus a lot of other stuff. I totally bombed on picking presents this year. I'm not mad, and she is more of a giver than a taker :)


RD

No shit. :(