Why are relationships so much more complicated for us than for our parents?
 

It seems while there has always been drama, it's worse today than it was yesterday.

When did everything become so difficult?

Womens independence movement.

Television and societal influences. Women today aren't the women of the 50's anymore.

Throw away society. Marriage broke, throw it away.

i.e. Womens independence movement.

I blame the rapping hippity hop music.

Quite often moms used to stay home and did not work. For her to just give up and walk out was not possible because she had limited financial resources. Sure she was probably strong enough to make it on her own but the chances of her attaining the same social level being single were very unlikely.

It all changed in the 1970's when women gained their financial independence and got better pay equality in the workforce.

Women could tell guys to fuck off at that point cause they no longer needed them as much.

When I was a kid, if you're parents got divorced it was a really big deal. Now at my kids school for example half the parents are either divorced and single or married several times.

It also became too easy to get divorced.

The ability to get abortions so easily also changed the dynamics of having to stick it out.

Faster paced lifestyle and more mobility. No one used to move around as much as they do today. Usually you stayed where you grew up or made 1 big relocation at the most. Now people pick up and go somewhere new on the whim.

So all the changes combined have fucked things up pretty bad.

From a man's perspective, I think a lot of guys are so fed up with relationships, they don't even want to get into a deep one again. I've been married twice, and unless someone really incredible comes along, I'm done. Don't have any desire to get locked down again. Its too relaxing and enjoyable being single and not having relationship headaches anymore. And most of my divorced friends are of the same mind. Just into casual lite relationships and dating, but that's as far as anyone wants to go now.

Bingo.

Also the root of why our kids are acting like fucking morons for the last 50 years.:2 cents:

I love you.

Yep :Oh crap

No... Can't be... It's the damn movies and video games! :helpme

Is that a nice way of saying that many women have turned into cu.nts? :1orglaugh

feminist :321GFY

oral sex is more acceptable and leads to miscommunication with the hoe.

No, I don't think women are c u n ts. I just think they are more challenging to have successful long term relationships with.

I would have to say most woman forgot what it is to be a mother,they just want to shop and gossip etc, the new generation doesnt know how to cook,clean or raise kids at all.

I have learned they are only good for one thing sex actually 2 and spending money.

most have the golden pussy syndrome and the system has made it easy for them to take half or everything.

I'm all for equal rights but its not fair the way the laws are set up now

Good one Steve. I heard on St. Valentine's Day that 40% of the US population is single - why? It's easier. Successful relationships are hard work.

What do you buy today that was not manufactured to be replaced as soon as possible without enough people getting upset to stop it?

Why did Henry Ford stop painting all the early Fords black? So people would have a reason to buy another one...

I don't believe the majority of Americans have lost all their values, I just believe they've stopped talking about the vocal minority who have.

Hard work relates to time. And that's what people are all short of now if you try to have a family. Women work, men work. Then you have to come home to raise your kids, run your household, sometimes run a business if you aren't a 9 to 5'er. All that takes a fuck load of time.

Being single gives you a lot more free time back and I think that's why folks like it so much.

:1orglaugh

As you can imagine, I'm not very popular among my girlfriends for having that opinion, but I don't base my opinions on what other people want me to think, so I don't care.

The fact is, we already had the most important job on the earth-taking care of our families; raising the next generation. Since women decided they needed careers more than their children needed a full-time parent, we have more crime, more violence, more deadbeat dads, more drug abuse, more diseases, more health issues, more relationship problems, blah blah blah. It's ignorant to not acknowledge the correlation.

Now, I *am* a working single mom, so I know how it is..I know how hard it is to support a two-parent family with four kids on one income, and I know how hard it is to support a one-parent, three child family on one income. That's why I got into this biz-I can work from home, I can arrange my schedule around my kids, and I can earn enough to live more comfortably then working at Walmart will let me. But if that feminist movement hadn't happened, it wouldn't be so hard, because everyone did it back then..it wasn't until families had two-incomes that the economy adjusted for the larger incomes.

I believe women are capable of pretty much anything men are. Of course there are things men are better suited for, as a general rule, and things women are better suited for. That's why we are different-so we can each tackle different jobs. We didn't have to prove anything, and because we felt we had to, our families, our society, or children, have suffered. I'd like to think that if women knew how selfish their actions would turn out to be, they would have chosen differently, but who knows. Women tend to feel oppressed at every turn, even when there is none.

I would have been very happy staying home, taking care of my family, my home, and my husband. He didn't feel the same, I guess, and again, that stems from him seeing his mother bust her ass while he was growing up. It's like a waterfall, everything trickles down and has an effect.

And, you know, video games and movies may very well have a negative affect on our kids-but if their mothers were home, taking care of them, I bet they wouldn't be exposed to nearly as much crap.:winkwink:

Now both parents work, they don't feel connected to the family because they spend so much time away from it, so they look for comfort from feeling unfulfilled in other directions: affairs, shopping, maybe even porn, lol. The kids resent their parents because they feel like they don't care, and they turn to their friends, drugs, sex, gangs, etc. for their self-worth. Parents feel guilty for working, so they give their kids material things instead of the attention they need, and kids learn not to appreciate anything, and the parents practice this wishy-washy parenting because they are afraid to be disciplinarians because they know their kids hate them, or because they are scared DCF will nose in. *sigh*

And now, at this point, how do you turn it around? What can I do to teach my son that the way he grew up-seeing his mom bust her ass, seeing the men in his life fall way short of their responsibilities, having just one parent, etc.-is NOT the way it is supposed to be? It's not an easy task, by any means. All I can do is talk to him, all the time, and I do, lol. Thank God I have a very smart and mature kid who grasps adult concepts like responsibility and so on easily.

I would have said most of that but I'm pretty lazy. Well said. ;)

My ex-wife spends her days shopping. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Well ok, I guess you could call that work. :winkwink:

LOL, thanks. :thumbsup

I love to shop, lol, don't get me wrong. But I spend my own money, lol. I do see how it has become a bit of an emotional crutch for me though. I've really taken a good long hard look at myself over the last few months, and I see how I was eating not because I was hungry, but because I was bored while I was editing pics or html, or whatever, and I shop whenever I am upset or lonely.

I'm beating the food problem, but I still do the comfort shopping. One day at a time, I guess.

why the fuck would any man get married, the man cheats, in the divorce, he only ends up with his clothes and maybe the vcr and if the woman cheats, in the divorce, he only ends up with his clothes and maybe the vcr.

I have to agree with those who said its partially because we seem to live in a throw-away era. A good strong relationship takes time and effort to maintain...and a lot of people don't seem willing to commit to the task.

I had a neverending string of short-term relationships until I reached the age of thirty. I never took them seriously, and viewed them as disposable. I was too preoccupied ensuring that I was having a good time partying with buddies and doin' the bar scene.

At 30 I finally decided I'd had enough. I was burned out, felt as though I was spinning my wheels - and wanted to settle down to a committed relationship.

So I did. 11 years later....still am.

For what its worth - I tend to think relationships all depend on the mindset of the individuals involved...not just the times we live in and societal influences that surround us. There's also the luck factor - I've always considered myself lucky to have found someone who I regard as a soulmate and best friend, who shares many things in common.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
Love the way you assume there will be a divorce!

I agree with you 100%. I enjoy working but I also believe mothers should stay home with their children and that children NEED a 2 parent household, not a 2 income household. Well said :thumbsup

I think relationships have always been complicated. Men aren't the men from the 50's anymore, either.

I think it simply wasn't vocalised or openly talked about. There was an awful lot that was internalised. Now it all hangs out.

Traditional roles reduce choice.

There are alot of choices nowadays, and choices can be difficult.

Its because of cell phones, the music of today, and sex and the city...

Not everybody wants kids. I am almost 30 and don't feel the slightest urge of having any whatsoever.

Also , there are a lot women nowadays who actually make MORE, A LOT MORE than their spouses/boyfriend, so it's not always the husband paying out in alimony.

Our generation is in sad shape.