GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - Tempest's Guide To Being A Successfull Gallery Submitter

I found this on my computer from 2004. I guess I was in a bad mood and felt the need to vent.

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TEMPEST'S GUIDE TO BEING A SUCCESSFULL GALLERY SUBMITTER

So you want to make a boat load of cash as a gallery submitter? Well here's the straight poop.

1. BUILDING GALLERIES

These "rules" are a must for any gallery submitter.

1.1. Need content so grab as much of the free stuff from sponsors as you can. It won't be enough so go looking to buy some. You'll find it too expensive or the license won't allow TGP so go ahead and "borrow" it from inside some pay sites. They won't mind since your promoting their sites anyways.

1.2. Design up your gallery. Make sure all the text is very small and that the text and the link colors are the same so that the surfer concentrates on getting off to the pics. Better yet, use some graphics links that look like everything else on the page.

1.3. Make all the thumbs really large and showing everything possible. After all, we don't want the surfer to spend any time on the gallery and possibly read the text. If they do then they might click on the thumbs and cost us money in bandwidth.

1.4. Put 30-50 thumbs on the page. More is always better and you'll be assured of getting accepted at lots of TGPs that way.

1.5. Make the pics really big, like 1024x768. The surfers will really get off to that and that's what we want. Get "tricky" though and blacken out the bottom half of the pic or so to ensure they get frustrated. The TGP owners are lazy and will never notice that.

1.6. Put some huge graphics in the middle of the page so that it takes a long time to load. We don't care about 50% of the surfers that are on dial-ups. Or make the whole page a graphic. Better yet, hire some designers that make galleries with loads of graphics. Everyone else is hiring them so surely that must be the route to go.

1.7. "Forget" to put a couple pics in the gallery directory so that you can get the 404 traffic to your TGP/Hub/Surfer Trap/Traffic Broker etc. etc. etc.

1.8. Have the links go to about 8 different sponsors. Surely one of them will interest the surfer. It doesn't matter if we've got pics of petite asian women but the links go to ebony fat sites. Once the surfer is horned up they'll buy anything.

1.9. Better yet, have the links go to a full page ad. Then you can redirect that anywhere you want. This would be a good source for your TGP/hub/surfer trap etc. etc. etc.

1.10. Use the same single page counter you have on our TGP on every gallery page. That'll make your TGP look huge and no one will notice.

2. PRE-BUILT GALLERIES

2.1. That's a lot of work so just go grab a bunch of those free hosted galleries and host them on your own server.

2.2. Put your copyright notice at the bottom of the page. It's on your server and you've changed the page by doing this so now that design is yours.

3. RECIPs

Recips sucks cause it means you need to do a bit more work. But you can make this work for you by doing the following.

3.1. Go get a couple TheHun, WorldSex recips. Make sure you use at least one of them on the galleries so that the TGP owners think you get your galleries listed on those sites. You can almost be guaranteed a listing with this technique.

3.2. Since you've got a TGP that you just can't seem to get running good, put your recip on there as well. Make sure your recip is a great big graphic and then have some little text link to their TGP. If the gallery has a black background, make sure you use some dark blue text for their link so it's barely visible.

3.3. You'll use some auto-submitters and since they've done all the work for you, just grab all the recip info they have and use that. You can be sure it's all up to date and accurate.

3.4. Screw those other TGP owners. Use their graphic/text but make the link go to your TGP/hub/surfer trap etc. etc. etc.

3.5. Make up a cool graphic and put that up there as well but link it to your hub/surfertrap/sponsor etc. etc. etc.

3.6. Don't forget to put a recip up there that links to your penis enlargement site/page so you build up that PR. TGP Owners never check that recips actually go to real TGPs. Better yet, hide that link in one of those scrolling recips.

4. HOSTING

4.1. Just host these galleries on the same domain as our TGP. Go signup for a traffic trade with the same TGPs you'll submit to. Then when people click on that TGPs recip, the traffic will look like it came from your TGP site. Very smart thing to do as it will build up that traffic.

5. SUBMITTING

5.1. Start blasting out those galleries by using auto-submitters. While you're waiting for the money to start rolling in, go post on GFY. You're a player now man so go ahead and blow your own horn. Let everyone know about how much cash your making (well going to make).

5.2. Start checking your stats every hour or two. Once you see some traffic coming into your galleries, watch those conversion rates. No sales yet? Sponsor's got to be shaving or cheating you. Go post on GFY about it.

5.3. It's been a week or two and some money is dribbling in.. maybe... Post some stuff on GFY about how TGP traffic sucks and you can't believe sleazy makes 100 sales a day.

5.4. By now you should have noticed that you don't recognise hardly any of the TGPs in your referer stats to your galleries. You've probably got some cease and desist letters for the content you "borrowed". Don't worry about it. Just delete those pics from the server. A couple or your trades may have stopped as well.

5.5. Go and hand submit some of your galleries to some of the bigger TGPs. If you can't because you need a partner account, we'll get to that in a minute. If you've been banned from any others, fix that gallery and write an email to the TGP owner. Tell them there's a problem with their script as there's nothing wrong with your gallery and include the link to the one you fixed. Make sure you tell them you've been doing this for years and that you've never been banned from any of the big name TGPs before. They'll remove the ban once they hear that.

5.6. If the TGP won't remove the ban, or they banned you for something else, don't let it get you down, just use the same auto-submitter software you were using and start emailing the galleries to them. Eventually they'll break down and start accepting them.

5.7. You'll probably need to delete a couple more trades from your TGP at this point.

6. PARTNER ACCOUNTS

6.1. Use some auto-submitter type software and send out the form letter request.

6.2. Include links to some sample galleries in there, it doesn't matter if they meet the TGPs rules or not, or are even in the correct niche.

6.3. Use the "name dropping" techinique. Make sure you tell them how you have partner accounts on a bunch of major TGPs. They'll never actually check those TGPs to see if your galleries are on there.

6.4. Once you've got the partner account, just start submitting any galleries you want. The TGP owners will never check up on you.

6.5. If they send you an email saying there's no accounts available, just start sending the same request every week or two. Do the same thing if you don't hear back from them after a day or two. If you don't hear from them after a couple months, just start emailing them your galleries.