Top Ten He Said, She Said
 

10) He said... "I don't know why you wear a bra;
you've got nothing to put
in it."
She said..."You wear pants, don't you?"

9) She said..."What do you mean by coming home half
drunk?"
He said..."It's not my fault, I ran out of
money."

8) He said..."Since I first laid eyes on you, I've
wanted to make love to
you really badly."
She said..."Well, you succeeded."

7) He said..."Two inches more, and I would be king."
She said..."Two inches less, and you'd be queen."

6) On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me
everywhere.."
Written just below it: "I do not."

5) He said... "Shall we try swapping positions
tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea.... you stand by
the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart."

4) Priest..."I don't think you will ever find another
man like your late
husband."
She said..."Who's gonna look?"

3) He said..."What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave
you?"
She said..."Turn sideways and look in the mirror
you fat bastard."

2) He said... "Let's go out and have some fun tonight."
She said..."Okay, but if you get home before I
do, leave the hall
light on."

And the Number one he said she said:

1) He said... "Why don't you tell me when you have an
orgasm?"
She said..."I would, but you're never there."
:girl

haha, some of them are pretty good :)

thanks, those were pretty good

LOL!

LOL. I had to read that one a couple of times before I got it. Guess that shows how much of a "lady's man" I am.:1orglaugh

Mars and Venus, baby...mars and venus.

:1orglaugh
like that shit :)

I had to read some of them a couple of times, before i got it LOL

Why did the woman cross the road?
Whats the difference, whats the bitch doing out of the kitchen!

Element: Woman

Symbol: Wo

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6Kg, but known to vary from 40-200Kg.

Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties: Surface usually covered in painted film. Boils at nothing; freezes without reason. Melts if given treatment. Bitter if incorrectly used. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

Chemical Properties: 1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones. 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason. 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol. 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Uses: Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. Can be a great aid to relaxation. Very effective cleaning agent.

Tests: 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state. 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Hazards: Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

:1orglaugh

aint that the truth!!!!

Why did the Blonde girl stare at the orange juice container???


It said "Concentrate"...:Graucho