She couldn't handle it in her ass!
 

So we're going at it good, but she couldnt handle it, hurts too much so I stopped before I damaged her permanantly.

Now she feels bad cause I couldn't get off.

Should I just get head or call it a night?

she wasnt horny enough

yup, you gotta work that shit!

you stopped in the middle of this to post and ask the Tard Posse to help you figure out what to do in bed tonight?

you're either bullshitting about getting laid, or you've got co-dependancy problems or something...

Ass Tip
 

Maybe you should have offered her a reach around, -- somehow it makes the whole thing better!

Naw, You don;t understand. I'm too big for her ass hole.

I already made her cum like a racehorse so my job is done

wishful thinking? :thumbsup

what he said ^

This is one of those situations where "if you gotta ask....."

now ishing about it :)

Thats called faking.. just to stop that clums from poking her ass

naw, no faking. she cums hard man. Juices flying everywhere. Cripes, she tore chunks out of my skin

i hate to break it to you, but it was probably more her asshole is too untrained and tight for any sized penis... assholes have to be worked to get to open up so a cock can get in.... i used one of those anal-bead-type of dildoes on my exwife where the knot starts out VERY small, then goes up a notch, until the knot is about the girth of a schlong.... work it knot by knot.... slap her ass make it relax.. tell her to breath, tell her to relax, use lots of astroglyde..eventually you'll get to the last and biggest knot, work it some, then slowly pull it out, lube up Oscar and slowly take him into the Hershey Highway...


you're welcome.

So who is she? Your gf?

The tried and true method.... if the girl can relax, this works every time..

no man, you don'tunderstand, she's an anal freak. She's confessed to riding 1.5 litre pop bottles up her ass and sticking 3 carrots in there recently. Her ass gapes man.

Yeah man.

you don't have to lie for us to be your friend man... cummon now

and for the record, i can fit 4 carrots up my ass, and also a 10" horse dildo fits no problem also... so there goes your calculations right up my ass

did i just say that out loud?

:Oh crap

You'll lose friends quick telling ppl that!

well, you said it yourself for a change..

My gf (naked on the couch in a blanket on her laptop) and I are sitting here laughing our asses off.

it's ok, all my friends know how uncontrollably and extremely deviant i am

Whats she trying to do with the laptop? :helpme

Make sure fluids from that ******* style asshole of her doesnt fuck with the keys

How's this for extreme, share a double ended dildo with your girl.

I'm just shocked you stopped and came her for suggestions :)

lmao
:NopeNope :1orglaugh

oh no dude, we're already done.Can't stick a butt fucked dick in her cujo!

So I got her to jerk me off all over her armpits

You don't want to know...

She'as addicted to extreme porn.

someone post the ******* pic.. I cant find it, she wants to know what it is

that's extreme? are you serious?

ah crap I just coughed and farted at the same time. My ass hole went "PAK~!!!".. I think I know what she went through now!

With hot sauce. yes. yes it is

k, gotta go for now, she wants me to go buy ice cream and a toilet plunger... no fucking idea why.. so off to the Irving I go.