Guess What Time It is Fuckers? Joke Time Thats What!
 

time for the funniest jokes youve ever heard. keep em short and spiffy. and if it's not funny, ill make sure your never ever allowed on the internet again.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife: "martha,i've just won the lottery! pack up your things!"

"fantastic" replies Martha.
"shall i pack for warm weather or cold weather?"

"i dont care" says the man. "just as long as you're out of the house by noon"

This really hot chick walks up to the bartender and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" The bartender says, "Not right now, he's busy, is there something
I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if you're the man to talk to...it's kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he grins and says, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and slips two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them gently, liking where this was going. She says, "Can you tell the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."

I saw someone telling that joke on TV last night. I foget who or what show.

those fucking bastards!!
i had a copyright on that joke!

My ARS Stats are pretty funny, hmmm a few other big company stats are funny too hahaha

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular
loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails.

Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it!
Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He was gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt.
Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:

"Iron this."

BUAHAHAHAHAH i liked that one :thumbsup

bwahahahahahahahah NICE:1orglaugh

The monkees on the MAN SHOW

ahah :thumbsup