K-Man's Sex Recipes
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Abe Lincoln - Doggy style sex, Just before you climax, give her a donkey punch, then while she is knocked out, roll her over and jizz all over her chin and face, shave off her pubes, and sprinkle in the beard region of her jizz covered mug. - Wadtron
Airplane Blonde - A blonde who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
Airtight - A woman is said to be airtight when her anus, vagina, and mouth are all full of penis. - Wadtron
The Alien (aka The Shocker) - Two in the Pink and one in the Stink. - Tommy, Cincy
Alaskan Fire Dragon - Another good take off is one of the angry dragon that is called the alaskan fire dragon. When a girl is giving you a blowjob, cum in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth at the same time. Then whisper in her ear "I have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose. - Wadtron
Ambush - Insert your thumb in the pink, your pointer finger in the stink, and try to bust trough the skin inside. - Smalls, Pennsylvania
Anal Boot - An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game.
Angry Dragon - While receiving oral sex from a female, the male pulls out and shoots his load up her nose. The female then snorts to expell the semen from her nasal cavity, henceforth creating the appearance of an "angry dragon".
Antlers - Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at the nipples.
Arabian Goggles (see also Ray Bans) - The bizarre act of stretching your scrotum across your lover's face and placing one testicle upon each eye. Voila! Arabian Goggles! - Christopher Mathews, Florida
Aussie Kiss - Same as a French Kiss, only you do it "Down Under"
Australian Death Grip - The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. - Wadtron
Beverly Hills Whiffer - This move is restricted to those women who think they're God's gift to the world. Find a woman of the above description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When you're about to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, scraping as much shit as you can from her. Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick one finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so she can see you while you yell "So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"
Bloody Mary - When a drunk guy is going down on a girl and without even realizing it after he's done, he realizes Mary was very Bloody.
Blumpkin - Receiving oral sex while sitting on the toilet
Bone of Contention - A Hard-On that starts an argument, ie. your girlfriend catches you with a stiffy while watching Olympic Figure Skating.
Boofter (see also Rusty Trombone) - The anal to the oral. The guy does the girl in her ass then she gives him head. - Northside Drunkrockers
Breakfast at Tiffany's - the act of eating a soft-boiled egg from your girl's pussy.
Bridle - Whil banging a whore doggy style, hook your pinky fingers on either side of her mouth and pull back. - Wadtron
Brown Bag Special - The act of wrapping a girl up or placing her in a burlap sack up to her neck so that she is immobile and her head is sticking out. Straddle her and repeatedly smack her about the face with your limp hog. - Tucky
Budgie's Tongue (see also The Little man in the Canoe) - Euphamism for the clitoris.
Bunny Boiler - An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction"
The Burrowing Skunk - You take a shit on the floor, then from the doggie style position, just before you cum you shove her face in to the pile of shit and cum down the middle of her back, hence the burrowing skunk.. - Bruce Bell
Butt Rodeo (see also Rodeo Sex) - This is stupid, but it still made us laugh...When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over real fast, start ramming her in the ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she tosses ya off!
California Potato Chip - Fuck the hell out of yo bitch, then bust a nut all over her back. Call it a night and then proceed to go to sleep. When you wake in the morning, Peel the hardened Jizz of her back and serve it to her for breakfast. - Jay Reid, Georgia
Camel Toe (see also Moose Knuckle, The Mumbler, Ninja Foot) - When a girl's pants are so tight you can make out the outline of her lips.
Chili Dog - The extreme act of shitting on your partner's chest then titty fucking her, henceforth the appearence of a "Chili Dog". - Twisted Pete, Ohio
Chilly Willy (aka Polar Bear, Snowjob) - Blowjob involving ice cubes. - Wadtron
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Taint - Pretending to be a Mormon just so you can impregnate virgins and breed them all out. - Club 1209
Cleveland Steamer - The extreme act of shitting on your partner's chest. (sometimes used as a revenge act).
Clitourist - A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie: "Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."
Cold Faithful - Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the winter-time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski-lift. - Wadtron
The Concrete Mixer - This is one is where you're tappin dat ass doggystyle, ramming her head fiercly into the drywall ahead. When you spew, shoot it into her drywall ridden locks. Presto, Concrete. - Christian Thomas, Georgia
Corn Flakes - This requires a really dirty partner. When you're about to cum, shoot it in her ear. If she's dirty enough, she'll have plenty of ear wax. Hopefully, the ear wax will float atop the semen. With the correct coloration, her ear will look like a bowl of milk and cereal.
Country Blumpkin - A Modified Blumpkin taking place in an outhouse
Coyote Ugly - Waking up with a nasty one night stand, you realize you have to give her/him the slip. You realize your arm is wrapped around them. You would rather gnaw off your own arm than risk waking them.
Crossed Swords - A blowjob involving two penises at one time. Three becomes a Jawbreaker. - Wadtron
oooo Trumpet - While down on a chick, place your lips solidly over her love hole and blow, watch her stomach rise as she fills with air. Then, with a firm hand push down on her stomach to let all the air out like the beautiful sound of a trumpet
Detachable Penis - In the dark while you are fucking your woman, instead of your penis to penetrate her oooo, use a banana or cucumber, or something that resembles a penis. Make unusual sexual "grunts" Proceed to fall out of the bed, leaving the penis-like object inside of her. If done right, she will go in a panic thinking your penis fell off. - Kirk Barrios, Indiana
Dirty Jose - The homosexual act of making your partner clean your pooh covered member after a hearty bout of anal play.
Dirty Sanchez - During Doggystyle sex, the male inserts his finger into his partner's anus. He then proceeds to smear the fecal matter onto his partner's upper lip to create a mustache made of poo.
Donkey Punch - (don't recommend trying this one in any circumstance) During Doggystyle sex, the male punches his partner in the back of her head right before he climaxes. The female then tenses up from the blow giving the male a better orgasm.
Double Bass - A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
Double Dragon (see also Split Pissonality, PEUM) - Post sex urination where you get a double stream out of one peehole.Dutch Oven - While a girl is going down on you, you blow ass and pull the covers over her head - Zerb
Eskimo Frenchbread Surprise - While nailing her doggystyle, you shove a frozen breadstick in her butt. - Zerb
Esplanade - To attempt to explain your whiskey dick to a girl. You are obviously drunk.
Etch-A-Sketch - Trying to draw a smile on a women's face by turning her knobs (nipples)
The Exploding Thorns - A variation on the Shocker. Penetrate the chick with your fingers crossed (middle over index and ring over pinky) and then immediately uncross them while yelling out "BOOM!" Always remember the thumb for the clitoral stimulation. - Woogie310, Georgia
Fat Lip - If you get poison ivy and finger a girl, her labia lips will swell. A la, the fat lip.
Fat Guy In a Little Coat - When your dick is too big for the girl's box. - Milton Waddums, Georgia
Felching - The act of sucking semen from your partner's butt.
Fidel Castro - Take a shit on the chick's face, rip out some pubes and toss em on her grillpiece, and then top it off by having her "smoke your cigar." - Woogie310, Georgia
Fire in the Hole - A revenge technique of pre-sex greasing up of your schlong with a mixture of Bengay and Tobasco Sauce. - Nook
(these have been stolen from
http://www.tomorrowideation.com/geto...d/TheList.html )
