Chuck norris reponds to all the "chuck norris facts"
 

:1orglaugh

My personal favourite is

"before there was science, it was believed autumn occurred when chuck norris round house kicked every single tree in existence"


http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx



more chuck norris facts:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Man you are on a total norris " Kick "

We need Conan to pull on his "Chuck Norris lever"...

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I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris

I love those things.

"If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. " LMAO

Why is there so much interest in Chuck norris? I haven't thought about him since '85

Take all your words back; he's watching this thread! :(

HHAHAAHA

At least he says the true ... poor dude ;)

Oh, maybe you are right. I wouldn't wanna get a roundhouse to the skull now would I? :1orglaugh

My favourites :1orglaugh

"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. "

"Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. "

They never get old. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

I bumped into Chuck Norris at a hotel bar in Houston back in the mid-90's. I was sitting, talking and drinking, with an actor that had appeared in the Steve McQueen movie "The Sand Pebbles", when Norris walked up and said..."You ready?"

The actor I was speaking to excused himself, and they left...

That is my Chuck Norris moment.

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conan obrian

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. :1orglaugh

Chuck Norris sheds off new skin every decade.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

They really were developing a WMD in Iraq, it was a Chuck Norris clone.

"If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death."

HAHAHA. I have not this hard in a while. Thanks for the link.

The Big Bang started when Chuck Norris performed his very first roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

DH

This one is my fave.

"Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris "

Those were awesome! Thanks for sharing. :)

"Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Chuck Norris lives about 1/4 mile from me

I see him about twice a month

"In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten."

Haha..

how much would could a chuck norris chuck if a chuck norris could chuck would

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx


I think that Chuck is reading GFY

"Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. "

LMAO

Chuck Norris is cool man

Look at Chuck using this to try to sell his books. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

CHuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, Horses are hung like chuck norris

i think that steven seagle is much better :P

Thanks for the best laugh this week! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh