Just for laughs...
 

A koala bear walks into a bar in Melbourne and orders a vodka martini. A hooker approaches him and offers him sex in the back room, so they go and get it on. When they finish, the koala bear heads toward the door. The hooker asks, "Aren't you gonna pay me?"

"For what?" asks the bear.

"Sex!" she exclaims. Reaching onto a shelf, she gives the koala bear a dictionary and tells him to look up prostitute. The definition reads "Prostitute: one who has sex for money."

The koala bear laughs, "Oh, ok," and tells her to look up koala in the dictionary. She finds it and reads: "Koala: a furry creature that eats bush and leaves."

The Queen is visiting one of the top hospitals in the United States, and during her tour, she passes a room where a male patient is masturbating. "Oh, my God," says the Queen. "That's disgraceful. What's the meaning of this?!"

The doctor leading the tour explains, "I am sorry, Your Majesty. This man has a very serious condition whereby the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they'll explode and he would die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry," says the Queen.

On the next floor they pass a room where a young nurse is enthusiastically giving a patient a blow job.

"Oh my God," says the Queen. "What's happening there?"

The doctor replies, "Same problem - better HMO."