if you know someone is being abused ... what do you do?
 

I have tried to help, offered her a safe place to stay, but I think she is back with him and too ashamed to say anything. Guy completely beat her self-esteem out of her.

Any tips from people who have been through this? Ways that I can help her get away from him and overcome her terror? I'd really like to pull a "friend green tomatoes" on him, but it's too cold out for barbecue.

-P

can't do anything... mind your business. if she's gettin her ass kicked, its cuz she wants to. if she didn't, she'd leave. plain & simple. :2 cents:

Contact a battered women's shelter, they're experienced in handling situations like that and will be able to either contact her or give you advice on how to approach the situation.

take advantage of them while they are weak..


jk.. when a person is willing to leave an abusive relationship they will come to you.. not the other way around .. and i dont mean for support, i mean for an "out"

Teach her to box. Mui Thai is a great form of self defense I learned some when I was a kid. They teach you some deadly shit. How to poke someones eye out. How to deliver a throat punch effectively and the low kicks can break a shin if delivered correctly

Abuse them as well and use the first case as blackmail material!!!

btw dude.. 99% sure she wasnt abused.. just the regular drama queen thing tard girls have going these days.

I agree
teach her some form of self defence, so when he attacks hit she can defend and makes sure he doesn't attack again.

and I am 99% sure you are a moron..you bypassed idiot

Seriously Mui Thai is the way to go if you can find a teacher who really teaches it and not Kick Boxing. A lot of people think Thai Kickboxing is Mui Thai but its really just a watered down form. Mui Thai is the oldest form of self defense, it's older than Kong fu

She's probably so scared and brainwashed that the only way you can help her is getting her proffesional help. Talk to the police.

no dought, kind of like Julia Roberts taking swimming classes, without her abusive husband knowing.

I dunno if this would help but....Tell her yanno you only live once, do you really want
to spend your one time on earth, being beat up? Maybe even die from it! We already have to try to stay healthy and survive in this world and it isn't easy. People are dieing from cancer, car wreaks ect....

What a sad way to spend your time.

GL
~LL

Whats:
What is involved here? Is this some kind of food torture? I mean I've seen that movie but I still don't get it

In Fried Green Tomatoes they kill the abusive husband and make him into bbq sandwiches, which are then consumed by the the very cop who is investigating the "crime".

Smokey- She did come to me, stayed at my house for a few days, then said she was going to stay with another "friend", but her actions imply that she has really gone back to him and is too ashamed to admit it. (i.e. she'll never pick up the phone when at her "friend's" house ... )

I just hope I haven't caused her more problems by calling when psycho-jealous guy was around ...

-P

fuck her in the throat..

then force her to sign a release form

Start having "Anger Management" and "Womens Shelter" pamphlets sent to their house.. one every week...

Someone will get the hint...

This is good advice. She was making plans to go to the Women's Services place herself, but I haven't heard any talk of that since she's been "staying with another friend".

:(

I will call and see what they have to say ...

-P

this sounds liek a situation where this girl just needs to get out of town..

She will never heal in the same city because if she already has low self-worth , she will never allow anyone else to help her improve because the ex will always be on her mind.. ( unless you live in l.a. )

i dunno thos eplaces can warp people's minds..

she just needs to leave for awhile ( or forever ) , like the city..

Yeah you are probably right, and I have a feeling when I call Women's Services they will tell me the same thing.

She doesn't have any great reason to stay here anyway, her family all lives on the other side of the country and I think that is where she needs to go. Hopefully she is coming to the same conclusion.

-P

tell her to have an exit plan
1- have some cash on hand about 100 bucks or open and epass account for her and load the account so she will something to access.
2-tell her to make copy or have on hand.. a-bank information ( she will need to close the account and reopen- easier to disappear) b- identification stuff- passport,driver, birth certificates, ssn deeds to property , car reg .. stuff that belongs to her and is in her name. Better to copy the stuff and mail to a trustworthy person. some abusers forbid access to this type of information.
3-if you have an old cell phone.. make sure it works for 911 calls and give it to her to call for help or place a bit of money on a prepaid and program in a woman's shelter and write a girls name like dawn.. on it. (better yet.. if she has her phone)
4-pack 3 days worth of simple clothes(pants, undies, socks, t shirt and coat, and toothbrush and comb inside the pockets and place in a plastic bag, if asked.. stuff for goodwill
5-exit plan. she has to know how to leave. meaning.. if she bails she needs to know in advance where to go, who to call, and where to find her exit stuff ie aboved mention. She can call a shelter.. talk to them to let them know she is thinking of leaving but not ready, (covers the where and the who) if she calls and says she wants to leave some shelter will go with the police to extract her.. and give her a safe house... and will be able to fade away.

Some of the information give ie fight back is wrong and even more dangerous.. what bully likes to be challenged.. and most bullies dont like to be challenged and will
fight harder to maintain their power. think about it.. people in a country dont like the leader .. try a revoultion.. what does the leader do? sends in the army to fight the uprising. Abuse is about power and control.. pure and simple..
and the answer to that problem is break that control. How.. leave.

Great advice. Thank you.

-P

Start having "Anger Management" and "Womens Shelter" pamphlets sent to their house.. one every week...

Someone will get the hint...
ya.. he will beat the shit out of her even more

the number 2 death of women in the world today.. is abuse related.

maybe everytime you try to call her, the dude gets jealous and hits her? :2 cents:

That is my fear, and why I haven't been trying to call her unless she's at work.

-P

go to the police. they know how to handle such problems.

Better call the proper agencies who deal with that kind of case. These people needs professional assistance which you can't give.