comments made by bosses about their employees asking for a reference
 

Here are some comments made by bosses about their employees asking for a reference:
I would not allow this employee to breed.
He would be out of his depth in a puddle.
He sets low personal standards and constantly fails to achieve them.
He got into the gene pool when the lifeguard was off duty.
Amoebas outscore him in an I.Q. test.
Fell out of the family tree. He is so dense that light bends around him.
If brains were taxed, he would get a refund.
It is hard to believe that he beat out 1 million other sperm.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. He only gargles.

Ouch. :(

Mental note: Careful whom you add as a reference.

Yes...careful!careful!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

if you like those you will love these...


------------
TRUE STORIES FROM QUANTAS AIRLINES:
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

Pilot Report: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

Solution Recorded: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.



Pilot Report: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

Solution Recorded: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



Pilot Report: Something loose in cockpit.

Solution Recorded: Something tightened in cockpit.



Pilot Report: Dead bugs on windshield.

Solution Recorded: Live bugs on back-order.


Pilot Report: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

Solution Recorded: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


Pilot Report: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

Solution Recorded: Evidence removed.


Pilot Report: DME volume unbelievably loud.

Solution Recorded: DME volume set to more believable level.



Pilot Report: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

Solution Recorded: That's what they're there for.



Pilot Report: IFF inoperative.

Solution Recorded: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



Pilot Report: Suspected crack in windshield.

Solution Recorded: Suspect you're right.



Pilot Report: Number 3 engine missing.

Solution Recorded: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



Pilot Report: Aircraft handles funny.

Solution Recorded: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



Pilot Report: Target radar hums.

Solution Recorded: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



Pilot Report: Mouse in cockpit.

Solution Recorded: Cat installed.



Pilot Report: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

Solution Recorded: Took hammer away from midget.

Not so funny...i think.