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-   -   When did you learn that Santa was a fake? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=549159)

dropped9 12-07-2005 09:50 AM

When did you learn that Santa was a fake?
 
I kind of figured it out when I was like probally like 10 or so... I think... I just figured it out that there was no way in hell he could make it to everyones house in one night...

You?

One of my fond memories of being a kid around christmas time was when I was being a big brat and shit on christmas eve and hearing someone knock on the door and go ho ho ho... My mom told me "See, Santa is checking his list".... Boy did I straighten my act out that night...

Later on they told me it was one of their friends doing them a favor to help calm me down...

I must of been like 5 or 6 at the time...

hahahaha

Abithefiend 12-07-2005 09:52 AM

I was 9 or 10..my sister found all the presents in the attic and decided to be a bitch n tell me! Before then Christmas was oh so magical...

CDSmith 12-07-2005 09:52 AM

He still comes to *my* house. :D

who 12-07-2005 09:52 AM

Lying to children is wrong on so many levels. Look how fucked up it makes people.

xclusive 12-07-2005 09:52 AM

Stop telling stories or no santa for you

TDF 12-07-2005 09:53 AM

when you stopped comming down my chimney

dropped9 12-07-2005 09:54 AM

Here's another story... One of the last christmases my younger brother still believed I made an outline of a sled and its runners on our porch with a hockey stick. I also man reindeer foot prints with the but of the hockey stick... it looked so fucking awesome... I wish I took pics...

I even ate all the cookies n milk.... hahahaha

I cant wait to do things like this for my kid!!!!!!!!!!11

dropped9 12-07-2005 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TDF
when you stopped comming down my chimney

Fuck you punk.

seeric 12-07-2005 09:54 AM

he's not real??

WTF?

Gasper 12-07-2005 10:02 AM

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY FAKE????? :winkwink: :xmas-smil :xmas-smil

SteveLightspeed 12-07-2005 10:04 AM

Fake? Well that's just ridiculous! Next you'll be telling me that the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and sologirl sites that do 100+ joins/day are fake too!

I refuse to believe it!

Steve Lightspeed

Mr. Jim 12-07-2005 10:06 AM

Santa is not fake I saw him stumbling out of a strip mall sports bar n El Segundo drinking wine in a bag....

http://www.kurtsonmain.com/i/drunken_santa.jpg

Dynamix 12-07-2005 10:07 AM

I'm not sure when I first found out, but I'll never forget when I was a kid and we'd turn on the radio to find out "where santa was last seen".. they had that santa radar from Norad, and I was always anxios to see if he was seen in my city lol..

http://www.noradsanta.org/

sumphatpimp 12-07-2005 10:12 AM

I saw mommy blowing Santa Claus!

LaurieX 12-07-2005 10:16 AM

I was 8 and I was sooo bummed when I found out I cried for hours. Oh and how in the hell could anyone believe that a life size rabbit delivered baskets full of candy to everyones house in one night?

Wiggles 12-07-2005 10:17 AM

i think i was about 6 or 7, i just figured it out on my own, dunno why, just did.

Kick Ass Chat 12-07-2005 10:19 AM

Santa is Real !!!, stop all this santa is fake stuff. :pimp

Furious_Male 12-07-2005 10:20 AM

7. I remember I heard it from some older kids but I didn't believe them. I was getting ready for school and kept bugging my mother for the truth. She finaly told me. Needless to say I got on the bus with tears in my eyes that day. I was a wuss.

WebairGerard 12-07-2005 11:14 AM

You telling me Santa's a fake???

CDSmith 12-07-2005 11:22 AM

Back in the early 40's about 1000 soldiers were in an auditorium for an assembly right before Christmas. The commander spoke, and asked "Who here believes in Santa Claus, raise your hand"
My uncle Reg was in the crowd, and raised his hand along with maybe a few dozen other guys. The commander then announced "You men who have your hands raised stand up...."

He along with the other few dozen soldiers who said they believed in Santa were each given a 3 day pass so they could go home for Christmas.

True story.

amandaspost 12-07-2005 01:34 PM

I think I was either 7 or 8 when I figured it out.

Jennyfer 12-07-2005 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith
Back in the early 40's about 1000 soldiers were in an auditorium for an assembly right before Christmas. The commander spoke, and asked "Who here believes in Santa Claus, raise your hand"
My uncle Reg was in the crowd, and raised his hand along with maybe a few dozen other guys. The commander then announced "You men who have your hands raised stand up...."

He along with the other few dozen soldiers who said they believed in Santa were each given a 3 day pass so they could go home for Christmas.

True story.


Nice story, Smith!

dropped9 12-07-2005 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith
Back in the early 40's about 1000 soldiers were in an auditorium for an assembly right before Christmas. The commander spoke, and asked "Who here believes in Santa Claus, raise your hand"
My uncle Reg was in the crowd, and raised his hand along with maybe a few dozen other guys. The commander then announced "You men who have your hands raised stand up...."

He along with the other few dozen soldiers who said they believed in Santa were each given a 3 day pass so they could go home for Christmas.

True story.


That rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MandyBlake 12-07-2005 02:36 PM

i can't remember a time in my life when i actually really thought Santa was coming. For as long as I can remember, i knew Santa was my mom.

Part-timer 12-07-2005 05:26 PM

Ahhahaha..this dude is fun, he claims that Santa is fake! :1orglaugh

reynold 12-07-2005 06:37 PM

Wtf, Santa is Fake?!

adultchica 12-07-2005 06:39 PM

Guess I was 10...I was a true believer until my teacher told the whole class he wasn't real.

redfalcon 12-07-2005 07:34 PM

Why is Santa Claus called Santa? It should be Santo, shouldn't it? Just like Santa Maria and Santo Nino.

I dont believe in Santa Claus but I believe in Christmas

phogirl69 12-07-2005 07:40 PM

I always knew he was fake even when i was 5 or 6, for some reason i was a very precocious child and already knew what was up, i was always cynical of the world already as a kid, i never had my innocence... Hmmm, I don't know why, perhaps i was one of those super smart kids???

sickkittens 12-07-2005 07:41 PM

My older brother told me when I was young. So cruel. :winkwink:

reynold 12-08-2005 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redfalcon
Why is Santa Claus called Santa? It should be Santo, shouldn't it? Just like Santa Maria and Santo Nino.

I dont believe in Santa Claus but I believe in Christmas

They got it from the patron saint's name itself St. Nicholas... :)

dropped9 12-10-2005 07:53 AM

bump bump

Basic_man 12-10-2005 07:56 AM

WHAT ???????? Santa is fake ???????? MOMMYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!

NoCarrier 12-10-2005 08:01 AM

We all knew people would reply the lame : "WHAT?! It's a fake!??!" comeback.

I just didn't expect 20 replies like that..

I expect at least a couple more.. Amazing how people do not read threads.

XxXotic 12-10-2005 08:02 AM

I kicked a puppy right after I clubbed a few baby seals

tonton 12-10-2005 08:08 AM

when i started to get money on my xmas stockings every year.

Vitasoy 12-10-2005 08:32 AM

When I yanked on santa's beard when I was like 6?

poorwebmaster 12-10-2005 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Headless

You?


HEY! Santa's not REAL?!?!?!??!

bliket 12-10-2005 09:09 AM

this is totally ot, but I clicked the previous guys sig... and whoa:

http://www.bcash4you.com/images/photos/01.jpg

What I'd do to fuck her....

Violetta 12-10-2005 11:51 AM

No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total--leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, at tops 25-30 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more then a medium sized LEGO set (2 lbs), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" can pull TEN TIMES that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine--we need 214,200 reindeer. This increased the payload--not even counting the weight of the sleigh--to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison, this is four times the weight of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces of 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb. Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force. In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas eve, he's now dead.

:1orglaugh

Spunky 12-10-2005 11:52 AM

At a very young age..like 5

escorpio 12-10-2005 11:56 AM

Santa fake?

TAKE IT BACK YOU FUCKING LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tricksy 12-10-2005 12:31 PM

No way that Santa is fake!!! I saw him couple of times :-))))

PornAddict 12-10-2005 02:21 PM

I will never forget the day I found out it was all a scam.

That Christmas, I got a whole bunch of Star Wars toys. One of them was the big ass Millenium Falcon. Of course, it was from "Santa". Later that night, all of my aunts and uncles were over (I have a big ass family and we all get together on Christmas).

I was walking upstairs when I overheard my mom talking to her sisters about how she bought me this big spaceship and how it was so expensive and it doesn't even do anything. I sat there thinking to myself, "What do you mean YOU bought it?". That's when I knew I've been played all those years.

- PornAddict

Peaches 12-10-2005 02:58 PM

12-07-2005, 11:50 Am :(

Babagirls 12-10-2005 03:06 PM

when i was in 3rd grade. all my girl friends made fun of me for thinkin he was real :((((((((((((

pornguy 12-10-2005 03:32 PM

He is not fake you big meany! and the next time I see you in the sand box, I am going to throw sand at you, and run like hell.

baddog 12-10-2005 03:34 PM

http://www.lambros.co.uk/images/garybruce.jpg


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