So how much does scientology cost?
 

How much for my personality test & audit testing :1orglaugh

Seriously....i know someone here knows :1orglaugh

i heard its $240

You can get one for free.

I read Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard back before Scientology started and it's actually a pretty damn good book. But basing a religion on it is kinda cooky.

I live in the same area where it started and we used to drive by their HQ all of the time. They were/are freaks that wear uniforms and wear metal briefcases and handcuffs everywhere. Crazy shit.

you think matt & trey got it right? $240?

Sounds almost exactly like the bible : )

Exactly! Or the Book of Mormon. Or the Quran. Etc...etc.

only apparently there are guys walking around with suits & breifcases hey maybe their secretly fighting the aliens

sounds like my kinda club, where do i signup?

Ya the bible is pretty cooky if you ever really read it

This isn't Men in Black. :1orglaugh

Hey dude....moses parted the red sea with a staff

a good 30% of the worlds population believes it

a good 80% of americans lol

fuck homeboy...their could be galatic space cruisers on the way right now to fuck us up

Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.

Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.

Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).


These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.

The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).

After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".

When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.

As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xenu is still alive today.

That is the end of the story. And so today everyone is full of these clusters of souls called "body thetans". And if we are to be a free soul then we have to remove all these "body thetans" and pay lots of money to do so. And the only reason people believe in God and Christ was because it was in the film their body thetans saw 75 million years ago.

Well what did you think of that story?

Totally free, if you sign a "eternity" contract making you part of the "church".

There's no upper limit. If you have money, the CoS will keep on creating ways to extract it from you.

Odd bunch if you ask me.

that place creeps me out

Yeah,

That "Spirituality for a Price" gig. It's for people who can't/won't read. Ya gotta love those "Pay Your Way Into Heaven" types. LOL

I could tell you some fucked up stories about them.

I was pretty OK with the CoS until recently. Sure, they were weird and ever so slightly sinister, but they didn't really affect my world at all, so fuck it, I thought. Leave them to it.

But then they crossed the line and started brainwashing Katie Holmes...

I didn't catch this past week's South Park, but if it's anything like what they did with the Mormons...I'm sure it was brilliant.

Oh come on, they got JOhn Travolta, & Tom Cruise, they can't be all that odd...

Wait, on second thought, nevermind...


:error

I'd like to hear them.

My sister got caught up in Scientology. I haven't heard from her scince '98. :(

Damn, sorry to hear that Orgasmics.

Was she hard up and needed some sort of answers?