I need some good one liners for tonight....
 

Something other than "holy jesus you'd make an excellent solo girl site!" or "would you be interested in the bukkake?"

I'm heading up to baltimore and hitting the waterfront, with doug from quik-host & a few others.

Now i have no problem picking up sluts, but its about time i start shooting for decent college girls who's daddys are rich :1orglaugh

tips please :winkwink:

"i do porn"

thats how i pick up the sluts

What did you just say on icq? I no understand.

And about your topic. You should do a search for a similar thread. Some hilirious and but also very good oneliners were posted.

i usually just toss a brick in a pillow case... and have the ransom note pre-cut & pasted

okay, how about just a hi, how are you? any half decent girl will respond with an intelligent conversation :)

nevermind you want a sugar momma, ask her if thats a LV or Dunniewnadwahtever or coach purse she has.

Introduce yourself, buy her a drink, and compliment her.

Example: Hi, my name is ______. I find you very attractive and thought I would say hello. Can I buy you a drink? Do you mind if I can keep you company?

Somthing to that effect. Just be real and nice. If she's interested you'll now. If not, you'll really know.

Use a quagmire line.

"You must be a parking ticket, cause you got FINE written all over you"

report back with results. :)

ding ding ding

we've got a winner!

Seriously though, never take any kind of advice on how to pick up women from me, just a warning. I've been married 9 years. I'm so far out of the loop I cant even see the loop from vantage point. :)

get real drunk and whenever anyone looks at you just scream:

"Don't talk to me i'm fat!"


works everytime.

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" is a time proven effective line

I've always found rehearsed shit doesn't work, sounds too scripted and phony. Think on yer feet and ad lib it off-the-cuff.

I have more luck if I'm alone - a group of guys comes across as intimidating to the chick and not conducive to making serious photoshoot arrangements.

If its a somewhat quiet, laid-back lounge kinda' pub - a crossword puzzle book can be a good ice-breaker.

i might be fat, but i got game :pimp

If she's really cute then you're probably the 20th person that evening to say the same thing to her. NEVER compliment a stranger on her looks, it comes across as being needy and desperate. Try doing this instead - say you're with friends so you've only got a few minutes to chat, but you need a female opinion on something. Women LOVE giving their opinion on anything! This is much better than using a line to get her talking to you.

What you do after this is up to you though... just be friendly, funny and don't act like she's the most important thing on the planet.

trust me that won't be a problem :1orglaugh

you must be london, cause i wanna explode in your tunnel

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

If you must use a line, this is the one a friend uses with remarkable success:

Said with a huge grin : "So do you take it up the shitter or what?"

I already use that, but thanks :thumbsup

"I voted for Kerry" is working more and more with the girls looking for some intelligence in their feckmates.

In reality, you will do better if you act uninterested and let them approach you.

I'm in porn :thumbsup

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

perfect!

i think i'll suggest hitting some irish pubs tonight, & pick up some irish MILF's

their easy targets.....i'm just looking for a sugar momma

:thumbsup

Wear a silly hat. When a woman asks why you are wearing it say "it gives women who find me attractive an excuse to come over and talk to me".

what game is that? hungry hungry hippos?

you still upset your girlfriend grabbed my cock in the limo? :winkwink:

oH i KNOW.. TELL HER.. If you are what you eat.... I am fast, easy and cheap!!

That should turn her on :-)

"Hey baby you know how many collagen injections you could get from my ass?"
"You ever suckle a fat mans teet?"
"If you lift this up you could find a dick."

I'd try those, if not you could always hit up a star wars convention as jabba the hutt. Star wars chics love jabba. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

How about

"Hey babe, ever fucked a 4foot9 italian with bad teeth?"

must have missed that.

and by that, i mean the girlfriend and the cock grabbing. i don't recall either of those two things in the limo.

yea she was rather discreet

must have been if i didn't even see her in the limo?

is she a ninja and just hasn't told me? :1orglaugh

Say this

"Wanna go for a pizza and fuck?" if she says no then respond with "What? You don't like pizza?"

whichever ho you brought with you...i forget her name

anyways you guys better stop bustin on me, i got way more ammo :thumbsup

4 foot 9.5 tubbicus :thumbsup

...and bad teeth, shit man, my dentist is going to be whole heartedly offended by that one. but you are right women do love 350 lb, sweaty men with catheters that live with their parents. my appologies. :banana

just being friendly pr0. thought you liked a little fucking around.

remember though, i have plenty of ammo myself. :upsidedow

i dont have ammo, but i do have aids, and ill give you all of it :jerkoff

dude thats lame :1orglaugh