Met my girlfriends son for the first time tonight
 

We've been dating for around 3 months and tonight i met him for the first time. He's a smart little guy at 5 years old and very cute. The way he talks to his mother is a bit out of line sometimes but other than that he's a good kid. I told myslelf that I would never date a woman with a child but the older you get (i'm 28) the harder it is to find a women without one. Any of you guys totally against dating children with kids? My boy told me that i should not because i would always come second to the child. I told him that i am not trying to get between the kid and mom, i just want the mom to treat me well.

Thats a hard one but if the kid doesnt come first I would drop her personally, a child should be a mothers first priority.

My thoughts exactly.

i've always been seriously turned off by the thought of dating a girl who has kids. maybe i shouldn't, but it's always been a gut instinct for me... not say i will never do it though.

A few of the problems I had with it were dealing with the kids idiot father and not being able to pick R rated movies when i go to the video store. So far with this one it seems like the father is a cool guy and is active in the kids life. We'll see how often she brings him around. I wonder how the father is going to act when he meets me.

:helpme

:1orglaugh

im 25 and dont have any kids and i get comments all the time from people that are shocked by the fact that i dont have a 5 yr old hangin around lol

but i know whatcha mean about meeting a gal without a kid. heh.

well i think that won't be a problm anyway...if the child she has is pretty good kid...i'm sure you will not encounter any problem...

i agree. if anything goes wrong, you guys will be the first to know. :winkwink:

What's up baba. How is everything woman?!

I've hooked up with a couple older women who had kids.

i'm kinda on that page - only ever seriously thought about one women with a kid. all depends on the kid i guess - kids are like people - you like some - you don't like some. if you like the kid it's a LOT easier.

I'm assuming though it's different when it's your own but what do I know?

I have a 5 year old with my ex wife. She is still single. So let me tell you, from my perspective, what I hope you'll do:

Please don't make my son feel uncomfortable or unwanted in his own home. I know you want to have sex with his mother and he may get in the way from time to time, but remember you're an adult and you can wait. Part of what makes you an adult is your ability to control yourself when necessary.

Speak nicely to him. Don't talk down to him. Talk to him with the same attitude you'd use to speak to a friend.

Love him if you can. Try hard to do so. He's easy to love. Just recognize that. Take time to notice the cute things he does and says. Make sure to notice his innocent outlook on life and try not to make him grow up too quickly.

He's been the man in his mother's life since before you came along. As an adult I expect you to figure out how to make him feel like he's still #1.

Yeah, he might act like a child sometimes. He might do so quite often. Just remember: he IS a child. You're the adult. Act like it. Remember where he's coming from.


There's plenty more to tell you, but that's a good start.

nice post :thumbsup

nice post.

a big problem is liking the kid and not really the mom

:thumbsup :thumbsup

Personally, I just don't find women with kids attractive. They are just in a whole different mode then me though so it kind of makes sense.

I don't think I will ever be THAT guy that wants to get married and have kids etc.. so why waste their time and mine?

Just remember that if you ever get to a co-hab stage, the kid will play you against his mother.

You will always lose.

The only way that this will not be true is if the mom makes it clear that in the home you have the say that a father has, even though you are not his father. Not likely to happen. And the natural fater has to buy into this as well.

Counciling (to assist in negotiating terms) is highly recommeneded before any co-hab.

Good luck!

yes :321GFY

Definitly ...

If there is a good loving father, and they are in good terms, it shouldn't be too much drama / annoyance since the kid isn't always there...

Great post ...

You'll grow up ... some day

nice post...

Would never seriously date a woman with a kid

Beautifly said :)

I feel sorry for people who are single in today's society. Even back when I was dating it seemed every chick had a kid.

The woman I dated before I got married had a wonderful nine year old girl. I dated this woman for three years and became a father figure to this child. When we split it was very difficult on all of us because of the child. It got to the point where the girlfriend was begging me to come around just to remain a stable figure in her child's life.

I'll never do that again. It was heartbreaking. Loosing the girlfriend was one thing, but loosing her daughter hurt even more.

I'm saving this post for future reference :thumbsup Sorry to hear what happened, sounds awful :Oh crap

I am a single mom with a 5 year old, when it comes to dating I keep men away from my kid. and when the time comes i only introduse the men that I am seeing as a friend. and never bring then into my home.

the last bf i had we lived together for 2.5 years.

Goddamnit. I just love you man. Great post.

Loving a child is different than loving a mate. Try not to see it as competition but try loving the kids too and you will see and feel the difference.

Great post, Donovan.