What Do You Do When A Friend Is Having A Breakdown ?
 

So she is all superheated and stuff, hating me because I am successful, I am a prick because her shit has failed over and over again, it's all my fault that her life is fucked up, I am a bastard because all I have done is try and help by paying her rent and bills and stuff, I am a selfish prick for trying to bring opportu nities her way to help her get back on her feet etc etc etc

Basically the entire list in Addendum A to the National Psychiatric Association "Clinical Indications Of Major Depression".

And there have been a few that didn't make that list let me tell you.

Do you cop it sweet and feel sorry for them and try and be sympathetic....

OR

Do you not take their crap and tell them to wake up to themselves.

I chose option 2. AND I pointed out that with the way her head is she should not be smoking that many cones every day.

Does that make me a bad person ?

(or at least badder than I already am !)

:upsidedow

Tell her to wise up and don't try being so helpful.she doesn't really appreciate it anyways

Good to give her the reality check... I'm in a similar situation right now and it sucks.

Buy them a drink.

Ignore her for a few hours. She'll get over it.

definitely number 2. i don't handle that shit well.

Been doing that for a few WEEKS already.

Just got jack of it.

Without sounding like a misogynistic asshole, this is not simply a case of bad monthly timing combined with bad attitude.

This is systemic mental illness at it's proudest.

I just sort of feel like a shit because I just stopped taking the crap being dished out and threw the dishful back in her face.

It DOES feel good to unload after copping it sweet for a long time.

:Oh crap

anyone who depends on you financially is gonna take it for granted sooner or later. keep your money, or have em work for their money

It works for most bipolar people I know. Once either the manic or depressive episode is over, they are usually normal for at least a little while.

Exit stage left.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

:1orglaugh

having this problem with a close family member of mine. everytime we talk, all i hear is "life sucks..blah blah...i fucked up...blah blah..i give up cuz nothing is going right..blah blah.."

ya, just give up! that will fix your life!!

First of all, if you have been helping pay her bills and she is just a "friend", you are the sweetest guy alive! Most guys would MAYBE do that for their steady girlfriends, NOT for friends.

And second, if she doesn't appreciate it and acts like a bitch, she SUCKS! Any guy nice enough to help her out that is just her "friend" is a great guy!

DROP HER. I'm sure you can find more grateful "friends"!

You shouldn't have to put up with that....

Give her anal then show her the door.

good heavens just tell her that if you such an asshole to her then to stop calling and having things to do with you and if she decides she wants to be friends again to call and you can start over

The best thing you can do as a friend is buy her some Jack Daniels and make sure she drinks the whole bottle.

Thanks for the pat on teh back, but even if she were I guy I'd be doing it.

She and I are mates, we have NEVER kissed let along slept together, and she is a fucking brilliant woman in her own right - when her head is not dragging her down.

People with depressikon pretty much always lash out at those they are closest to and/or those that help - I know that and usually cop it.

But after weeks of biting my tongue, when she sent me an abusive email this morning I lost it and let her have it both barrels.

There is only so much can this Koala Bear.

:Oh crap

What, so she can blame me for the hangover tomorrow as well ?

I don't think so Tim.

:321GFY

Just do it! Or I'll eat both your arms and legs.

:thumbsup :thumbsup

That's a lot of eating.

:321GFY

give her a bottle of Booze, a Country CD and a box of razors ... she'll handle the rest ...

soorry to hear it mate. I hope it all gets better, unfortunatly no one can provide the advice yo seek as it will determine from inside you what the circumstances are and how and what to tolerate. when things go bad sometimes they just go bad .

You are a very smart guy and ultimatly the otehr party either smartens up or you must worry about yourself would be the law of nature and thus my only words of advice in a situation like this.

good luck to you. :)

Option number three: Tell this "friend" to grow up. So trying to help by bringing opportunities her way is being selfish? Shit, be selfish to me.

If you keep helping her without having her help herself it will just continue to spiral down.

*are you sure this thread isn't about amp?

If she is indeed suffering from major depression, like you are suggesting, telling her to get her shit together is like telling a blind person to watch his fucking step or telling a paraplegic to get off his lazy ass. Depression is not a choice, it's an illness.

Without professional help (probably including medication), the problem isn't very likely to go away. If you want to present her with an opportunity, suggest a psychiatrist.

(ofcourse, depression doesn't necessarily include this type of behaviour, nor does this type of behaviour necessarily signify depression, so if she's just a whiny, annoying person it would be best to sever your ties with her altogether)

That is exactly what triggered the latest tirade.

I even offered to pay for it.

:disgust