25 reasons why men are better off with dogs than wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
6. A dog's parents never visit.
7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
11. Dogs can't talk.
12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready 24/7.
13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
23. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
24. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdales or Neiman-Marcus.

And, last but not least:

25. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.