Question for divorced parents with teens...
 

My parents divorced about 14 years ago, I was 6 or so. I have 2 younger brothers from the same parents, one is a freshman in college and the other is a junior in high school. My parents have always had split custody, so when I was young we went back and forth a lot.

For the past 2-4 years my brothers have been playing this little game that is driving me crazy because I always get caught up in it. If one gets pissed off at one parent for whatever reason, they decide they don't want to live with or see them anymore so they move in with the other. Both brothers have done this several times with both parents. Just the other day I was talking to my dad and apparently my youngest brother is back living with my mom again and won't speak to my dad, following an 8 month stint of not talking to my mom.

Now granted when I lived at home and got pissed at one parent I wanted to pull the same stunt, but I never ended up doing it. Problems always got resolved one way or another.

Anyway my question is, is this common? I had plenty of friends with divorced parents but split custody was a little more rare so I really don't have anything to compare this to.

Why would responsible parents allow their children to determine what they do and do not do and where they live, on a changing basis? That is ridiculous. One of the parents should have stood up and been an adult and said no to these little bastards.

My oldest is 18, and he pretty much went back and forth between here and his dad's. We live in the same school district.

He tried pulling that shit when he was about...~thinks~ 4 years old. And we both sat down with him and explained that guess what, we have divorced parents too, and we know how that game works, and we aren't playing it.

The rule was you can spend time at whichever house you want, but you can't leave one to go to the other because you are mad.

I'm not disagreeing with you there. Supposedly this time my mom said "ok, now you're staying here and not going back." Which seems even more crazy.

Then they want my help?

ick. Sounds like they are playing the parents pretty good on this one. Are they running to the other parent when they dont get what they want though too? THAT seems ot be common.

been there

Very common attention getting technique and will keep happening till the parents grow up and set rules for the "children". It also means that they know that they can use it to their benefit to "return the hurt" that they feel and needs to be talked out as well or they will grow up with a bunch of resentment buried inside.