X-Rated Eden by Christine Anderson
 

Christine Anderson, who you can meet on MySpace, wrote this. I found it in her blog. I found it humorous.

X RATED EDEN by Christine Anderson

god in the garden created some trees
then added some fruit and some birds and some bees
he made everything perfect like only god could
and he nodded with pride and said, damn this is good

but then out of boredom he fooled around
and POOF there came man from the dust of the ground
at first he was occupied giving things names
that he couldn?t remember since he hadn?t much brains

but after a while he began to grow bored
and he fooled around, baby, just like the lord
he tackled some sheep on the first line of scrimmage
and pulled out the wiener (made in god?s image)

and god shouted ?stop!? and he gave man a whack
?you can?t handle a penis, so here, give it back.?
but adam protested, ?you?ve made a mistake?
that wasn?t my dick. What you saw was the snake!?

so god reconsidered and said he?d forgive
but do NOT touch the tree where the snake likely lived
so Adam agreed? but by now his erection
suggested to god the sheep needed protection

so god did what any good shepherd would do
he created a woman to fix what he blew
?he?s your problem now,? god said, ?this bub?s for you?
stay away from the fruit but be fruitful and screw.?

and god pulled his trademark move right then and there
he vanished like that into thin fucking air
and with Almighty God too damn holy to see
eve tired of Adam and checked out the tree

and everyone knows what?s about to unfold
eve eats the fruit? Well no shit. We?ve been told.
everyone knows that the girl not the guy
caused the fall of mankind so we all have to die.

yeah, that?s how the story goes time and again
the woman defied god. The bitch, that's who sinned.
but here's an idea we all disregard
eve only grew bored cuz her man was a tard

and maybe this comes as a bit of a shock
but if god gave man brains not just balls and a cock
and if god had made men who had something to say
and who at the LEAST could meet woman half way

we?d all be in Eden enjoying its beauty
cuz smart men aren?t boring?

that?s why they get booty.