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Joke Thread Post one better then this one.
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
"Tarzan not know sex," he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh,...Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong...but I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. "Here" she said, "you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed: "What in the hell did you do that for?" Tarzan replied "check for squirrel." |
why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.
there, that was better than yours lol... |
I got a joke for you: "tgp elite"! and it is an oxymoron, fucking deep eh?
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A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong" asks the mother. "I was taking a pee and this bullet came out" replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out". Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay" says the mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy, "I was jerking off and I shot the dog.
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A baby seal walks into a club...
ADG Webmaster |
Sign language
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on penis one time." "If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis....fifty times." Hahahahaha :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh |
What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling. ---- How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. ---- Three friends visit a "Gentlemen's Club." One of the friends wants to impress the other two, so he pulls out a $10 bill. A dancer comes over to them, and the guy licks the $10 bill and puts it on her butt. Not to be outdone, the second friend pulls out a $50 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the $50, and puts it on her other cheek. Now the attention is focused on the third guy. He gets out his wallet, thinks for a minute... then pulls out his ATM card, swipes it down her crack, grabs the 60 bucks, and heads for the door. ADG Webmaster |
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:1orglaugh :1orglaugh best jokes so far :thumbsup |
Best blonde joke...
Why do blondes always wear ponytails... ? To hide the valve stem... |
I knew it, Tarzan is an idiot.
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