Best Your Momma Joke!
 

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.



Just came up with this thread when I rummaging through my closet and thought about the good old days! I saw my nintendo and was thrilled, only game I found was excitebike! anyone else remember that game?? (personal favorite)

or Got a better Yo Momma Joke? :)

yo momma birthed AaronM ?

I'm gonna rape this thread!


Yo mamma is SO bald...when she puts a turtle neck on she looks like a Broke condom!

rape rape!!

yo mamma so fat. when she goes to the movies she sits next to everyone.

Your mamas so flat she's jealous of the wall!

yo mommas like a slip-n-slide, everyone's had their turn..

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy"
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says "to be continued."
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says "we don't do livestock".
Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo momma so fat when she bunjie jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be aeriel views!
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo momma so fat she influences the tides.
Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo momma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo momma so fat when she wears one of those Malcom X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
Yo momma so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
=-> SO STUPID,

Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. !
Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
=-> SO UGLY,

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo momma so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!
Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Your mammas so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions

plagerism (sp?) at its finest!

Yo Mamma is so stupid,
at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius

Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.

Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she weighs herself the scale says "To be continued..."


Yo Mama's so hairy,
she looks like Bigfoot in a tank top.

Yo Mama's so hairy,
her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

just a few

_!2_A_C_E_!2_}{ Like I raped your momma?? hahahah

lagwagon, Your Mom is so nasty, When i asked what's for dinner, She lifted up her feet and said "CORN"!

ExciteBike was good but Blades of Steel Dominated!

Jeez Kman.. You got alot of em...:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Here is a good one.


YOUR MAMA IS SO POOR, SHE GOES TO KFC JUST LICK OTHER PEOPLE'S FINGERS.


:1orglaugh

in case KFC only exists in USA, it means

Kentucky Fried Chiken.


(spellin')

Last time I ate KFC I got food poisoning and threw up for 9 fucking hours, I even had to go to the emergency room...... AVOID UNCOOKED KFC at all costs hahaha

and!

Yo momma's so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

Your momas so fat when she gets cut gravy comes out

I'd say AVOID UNCOOKED ANYTHING. :stoned

Your momma is so DUMB she asked me what kind jeans i had on and i said GUESS,,,

and she said she didn't know:(

I dont have a momma...

So that's why I fucked all of yo mamma's

Shit I got busy and lost track...gee I wish I had a huge list I could copy and paste....



okay here goes...lets get abstract...


Yo mammas got a peg leg with smurfs carved on it...


Yo mammas got a glass tits with goldfish in it...


Yo mamma rides donkey's backwards and drinks whiskey out a boot...

Yo mamma is so stupid that when she went to the movies and there was a sign saying 18+ only she came back and brought 17 friends

Your mama is fat she takes a shit in a volcano.

Your mama is so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs.

Yo mammas so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of ball park franks...

Yo mammas so skinny i saw her hang glidin on a dorrito...

Yo mammas so fat she uses a VCR as a pager...

Yo mammas so fat she stepped on a nickel and made 5 pennies...



ok and though I won't touch a spacedog thread with a ten foot pole...i will say this...


Yo Mamma is SO DUMB! (drum roll please) that spacedog beat her in a game of tic tac toe...


sorry spacedog...i don't know you but with all the brilliance you've been aptly displaying I figured it was the only way i could TRULY RAPE THIS THREAD!

SHIT! Direktor beat me to the ball park franks one while I thought of the spacedog one....foooook!

I most recently saw a KFC employee jerking off in broad daylight behind the restaurant...I immediately decided to carry my digi cam everywhere i went!

Yo momma is hairier than me.

(Did I just insult myself?):helpme

your momma is so old when she walked into an antique store they kept her!

ALL STUPID...

Yo mamma so fat she irons her jeans on the driveway.

I don't get it.

*pat on the head* its ok just sit over here in the corner with this pointy hat on.

fuck man, this was once a peaceful thread. :1orglaugh

what you don't get?

You dont get it cause Your momma's so stupid,
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

Yo mama is so fat she went past the TV and I missed 3 commercials.

Your mamma is so fat that when your daddy wanted to fuck her he had to roll her over in flour to find the wet spot....




.... and he STILL couldn't find it!

These Yo Momma things.
So what? My momma's a big fat slut too.
I'm a bastard. :)
I don't see these as funny, sorry. Nothing offensive about them, nothing funny.

Just my:2 cents: