luv$'s review of the Transporter 2 (AKA crapville on the big screen)
 

Are you fucking kidding me?

I know I busted your balls once before, and I really hate to do it again, but this movie was one of the worst I have seen.

Good CGI??? The stop-motion animation on the police's bomb robot was out of synch and the camera jumped like they hired interns to do it.

The plane sequence? It looked like a fucking scooby-doo cartoon!

Nothing was planned out, every "action scene" was too short to be impressive, within confined areas too small to play off the ONLY salvation this movie had - Statham's fighting techniques.

It was like every single thing the main character did as an act of heroism wasn't at all mapped out, it was just *magic* and everything just worked out.

And the plot? Jesus fucking christ do you have to be as dumb as a box of bricks to not see the holes in it? They were big enough to drive that cheesy lamborghini through! A virus that wipes out DEA agents? WTF!? and then the main bad guy even ACKNOWLEDGES the plot hole and gives some lame "I work for someone else" bullshit.

And then the fight scene is some homoerotic tumble in a confined space!?! They setup the villian to be a FIGHTER, someone on equal ground with the hero - and all they can do is make it look like they're trying to joiin the mile-high club? I mean wtf!

I don't see how a group of people can collectively shit in a film can and call it a movie. It's like it was a freshman's film class project with a shoestring budget and a bunch of drunk frat kids.

The movie was all about ripped muscles, perfect teeth and pretty cars. It made me feel ashamed to be male if that is what they expect us to get off on. Appearantly, I am alone on this.

I wanted to walk out, but my gf said we spent the money we should stay. Not even worth watching as a TV Movie.

If this movie passes for entertainment for you, I seriously pity you.



You want a movie that's worth your money?

Fantastic Four & The 40 Year Old Virgin

:2 cents: :2 cents:

:1orglaugh nice review :thumbsup
It's not like it was apealing to me in the first place, but I guess now I'll skip it for sure...

Damn, talk about being a tight ass

Um.. if expecting to get your money's worth is being a tight ass, then I'm happy to be one.

It was a review, get over it.