Well, are you ready to laugh?!
 

Well, I am a brand new member to this board, though I have been reading it for quite some time. So I thought what better way to break the ice than to tell a lame ass joke! So here goes....

One day a young boy goes up to his father and says, Dad, what does a vagina look like? His father replies, Well sone, a vagina is soft, pink, and smells nice, kind of like a rose. The son says back to the dad, What does it look like after sex? The father a little embaressed says back to him, Well son, you've seen that bulldog across the street haven't you? The boy nods... Well... have you ever seen him eat mayonaise?

LOL, this cracks me up everytime, feel free to add your own jokes....

Oh my god.... another one with lame humor:Kissmy

a warm GOFUCKYOURSELF to you from the dude himself!

now remember.... NO S P A M:waaaaahh

Rgdz
Vegasdude

lame joke :thumbsup

Joke Starts:

the Pope was visiting the U.S.
when he and his driver were going down the road the pope said: I never get to drive anymore...let me do it...so he started to drive...50miles 60miles 100miles
he was going way to fast and a police officer stopped him...the cop called up his sergeant
Sergeant: who did you stop? the mayor?
Cop: no, some 1 more important
Sergeant: the Governor?
cop: more important
Sergeant: More important? I can't believe it, did you stop the President?
cop: no, more important
Sergeant: now you are pissing me off, who is more important then the President?
Cop: I don't know who this guy is, but the pope is his driver

Joke ended you can laugh now

:1orglaugh

An old man is sitting on his porch when the kid from down the road comes walking by carrying something in his hand.

"Whatcha got there kid?", shouts the old man.
"Duct-tape", answers the kid.
"Whatcha gonna do with that?", asks the old man.
"Im gonna catch me some ducks."

Well the old man has a good giggle, but later on that day he sees the kid walking home with an unraveled roll of tape, with 10 or 15 ducks dragging behind him.

The next morning, the kid is walking by with something else in his hand.

"Whatcha got there kid?", shouts the old man.
"Chicken wire", answers the kid.
"Whatcha gonna do with that?", asks the old man.
"Im gonna catch me some chickens."

Thinking this is absolute rubbish, the man laughs out loud "Boy, you can't catch no chickens with chicken wire!", but sure enough, 2 hours later the kid is seen walking back with 15 or 20 chickens strung behind him!

The next morning, the kid is walking by with some sort of twig in his hand.

"Whatcha got there kid?", shouts the old man.
"A pussy willow", answers the kid.
"Hold on while I get my hat".

Good one...lol

thats funny:)

It's just a joke, so please don't take offense.



New york was having a severe pigeon problem.
Everywhere you went, there were 1000's of pigeons.
New yorkers were getting very annoyed & started compaining.
This year being a re-election year, Mayor Giullani was pressed to do something. For weeks the city tried everything, but the damn pigeons just would'nt go away!

Mayor Giullani says "Fuckit.. I gotta do something here", so he offers a one million dollar reward for anyone who can get rid of all the pigeons....

Next day, a man walks into his office & says,
"So, is it true you will pay me one million dollars to rid your city of these pigeons?"
Mayor replies, "Yes, anything.. just get rid of them & I'll pay you cash.. no questions asked"

Man replies. "Ok. we have a deal, but it'll cost you one million dollars for questions"

Next day, man goes to the bridge & pulls out a small pink box.
He opens the box & takes out a pink pigeon..

the pink pigeon flys around all over the city & the other pigeons see it, & start to follow it...
Next thing you know, there's a giant flock of several million pigeons.. The pink pigeon heads for the ocean.. The other pigeons follow..
All of a sudden, the pink pigeon nose dives straight into the water..
the other pigeons follow..
Pink pigeon goes all the way to the bottom..
the others follow..
Pink Pigeon hits bottom, turns around & heads for the waters surface & flys off...
But, the other pigeons drown....

The man puts the pigeon back in the box & heads off to get paid...

He greets mayor Giullani & says "Ok.. the jobs done as promised"..

Mayor Giullani replies.. "Yes sir.. Good job & here's 2 million dollars as promised"

The man says, "The deal was for 1 million"

Then the mayor says "yes, yes" "but I have one question"

The man says "What"

The mayor replies.

"You would'nt happen to have a pink ****** in a box, would you?"

huh?

lame...

My joke was the best

This is one of my favorite war jokes :)

How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
Both look out their windows and see Rubble.

:1orglaugh