The best Tom Sizemore sex tape review yet!
 

"At a Glance: Not since Limp Bizkit auteur Fred Durst's camera phone puked onto the Internet has a celebrity sex tape been less welcome. Tom Sizemore famously dated and famously beat the shit out of celebrity madam Heidi Fleiss - an act I think anyone who has ever seen an interview with Fleiss can easily forgive - so the fact that he fucks hookers and films it really doesn't come as a huge surprise. Expected or not, this elaborate and expensive (in more ways than one) collection of homegrown porn is redolent with the intertwining stenches of failure and humiliation. Sizemore explains he is a "grower not a shower" and then spends minutes complaining about how he can't achieve an erection because of a looming court case. His drug-fueled soliloquies about how he is "not smart, but not really stupid" or his explanation of a squirt gun containing his semen will loom like storm clouds in the mind of any casting director. The proverbial truth is out there: Tom Sizemore is a giant fucking idiot.

Nation of Origin: Hollywood, a nation unto itself.

Languages: The stumbling semi-coherent language that only booze and opiate addicts speak mixed with the harpy-like squawks of paid escorts.

Sexual Content: Time Sizemore eats more assholes than a giant alligator set loose in Washington."



Read the entire fabulous review here:

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3156

:winkwink:

J.

no review is complete without a plug: http://XXXTom.com


see what all the fuss is about :winkwink:

hes a Pig 4 sure

Oh they plug it...they plug it hard...

lol

:winkwink:

J.

Talking of Tom

Lock Up was on tv tonight good film, funny how the newspaper printed his name instead of Sly.

the tom "craze" is all about the buzz followed by more buzz - sales are steady and traffic is heavy.

Xpay you banking good $$$$$$??

""I've never had an STD in my life." Sizemore coos romantically while still lying atop the girl he was screwing. "I want to say, just for the record: I have cancer of the pancreas and I have cancer of the brain, but I don't have Chlamydia. You know what I have cancer of? I have cancer of the police. What day is?it's Friday, right? I'm hoping that over the weekend 23 cops are murdered. I hope they have lots of kids."

nice...

:winkwink:

J.

:thumbsup You are awesome man! Thanks for sharing this hot stuff.

yer i mean my first reaction was tom sizemore who the fuck is that?
then when I worked out who he was I just thought why the fuck would anyone wanna see him ?

the whole celebrity men sex tape thing just isn't working for me

thanks- my mom is very proud of me right now too!

http://galleries.tomsizemoresextapes...zemore_012.jpg

"Lana searches off-camera for the bag while Kara straddles Sizemore's face. He moans and slurps like a burn patient eating soup through a straw.

"And then?" Lana asks after having located the bag.

"I think the drugs are in there," coaches Kara.

"And then we're gonna talk about something that's against the law, besides this here," Sizemore pauses from his oral activities. "Especially this girl?this is called cunnilingus or fellatio, I'm not sure. One of them means I'm not a faggot and one of them means I'm a faggot. So whichever one of them means I'm not a faggot?Oh! Nothing against you faggots, I want?you to like me too."

Sizemore gleefully gets up, his small flaccid penis flopping around like a bee-stung thumb tip.

"Hey my dick is short, huh? I'm a grower not a shower. I'm an egomaniac."

Priceless...

:winkwink:

J.

a lot of the initial members are woman - there are also 1000's of hours of content in the site :thumbsup

http://www.texasdreams.com/bananatom.gif
http://www.texasdreams.com/bananatom.gif

Ha ha ha ha

Now THAT'S the best promo yet !

:thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

now THAT was a great review haha funny shit

haha, that is funny, now I have to see this thing

Tom wants to be a famous porn superstar that's why he's doing his best to get people's attention on him.

This is some priceless material; a real life look inside an actors mind and then some. Though the review is interesting, you really have to hear how this plays, it?s damn funny.

?Oh, alright, what would you say? Hey, stop it, how dare you! I'm unmarried, I don't have a girlfriend, why do you want to do this to me? Why are you offending my sense of?mmm?why is she doing this to me? What's wrong with her? She has a disease! It's called co-a cock-she's a cock sucker.?

?Its February 2003 I dyed my hair at Rancho Labree?you know what else I did, I had sex and your not supposed to cause its rehab but I didn?t think my dick needed any rehab.?

That one scene where a girl is on the bed and she cums, the chicks ass winks at the camera for a good minute?nice ending.

Like J$tyles said, a cult classic!

I added some links to my blog

Now I beleive he is really that wild...

that fruitcake just wants to ride on the bandwagon of sex tapes.

An instant cult classic for sure.

And it's not working for many. but I guess instead of OMG incredible numbers, I am to believe that suddenly women are signing up for porn sites. LOL.

I sure hope they lock down a few cute 18yr old boys for some SingleBoy sites geared towards these women.


I'm still waiting for the press coverage, still nothing, and I have the news and E! on all day and night long.....

We want to see the David Beckham sex tape!! We want! We want!

See now I could see a woman MAYBE being interested in that. ( 29.95 interested I dunno)


Where is KB?? Shouldn't he be in here telling me this is blowing up faster than Kirsty Alley at an all you can eat buffet?

Get your links up. Xpays...it's WIGGERIFIC!

so how much do you think her rates are going to go up because of the video

My favorite incoherent rambling from Tom:

A quick cut later and Sizemore delivers an even more idiotic diatribe.

"Hey, LAPD, one more time I want to make this really clear: FUCK YOU. Not that I don't like you guys, but I just feel about you how you feel about me. You don't like me, I don't like you. You think I'm afraid of you? Wrong guy. Suck my fucking Detroit dick. I didn't hit that clickety-clack bitch, bag of bones fucking comin' out of her ass fucking whore. I didn't hit her. I shit on her?because she asked me to."

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I think we can have Tom play Jstyles LOL

Ya thats funny part for sure

lol hes hilarious. can't believe people are paying to see it tho.

Ever seen a train wreck?

the sphinctor puckering is pretty cool in broadband :winkwink:

you will eat your words and i hope they are crispy :1orglaugh

that's hot!!!

Another Tom Sizemore Sex Tape
 

I tried putting out a Tom Sizemore sextape about 2 years ago.
I couldn't find too many people interested in it. Tom tried
threatening me to get it back. Had me meet with an ex LAPD
in Orange County acting like he wanted to buy it. And then
played a bunch of bullshit games. I guess that's when he got the idea
that he might as well put his own out. You can tell that
all of the tapes on his site were filmed by someone else.
With the intent of selling them. Tom made these tapes. And he put them
out on his own. I have the original of him and his fiance from
two years ago. And as much as he talks about not being gay, On my tape
he gives a blowjob to a dildo and talks about how good he is at it.
There is also other footage of him and his band rehearsing. And him talking shit about several other celebrities, such as Kobe Bryant and the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard. If these other tapes sell or someone has a site that promotes them and is interested in a tape no one else has please email me or reply here.

that would be nice to c.

Sad what famous druggies need to do to finance their personal habits