If God were one of us:
-Amp would tell him his credit score pales compared to his, and let God know that he lives in a "2M mansion on Maui". He would then go crazy, get some new "ink" on his body, and tell god that he's "SO glad he left the praying industry" because it's "SO dead" meanwhile secretly praying every night...
-AlienQ would accuse him of shaving, particularly when it comes to the entire country of India, who seem to have got a disproportionately bad break. He would then say "fine, you can deny it, and everyone can put their head in the sand, but god is definitely shaving and India is getting fucked because of it. All of you can fuck off, I'm out."
-p1mpdogg would try to find old websites that god had created on a lark years ago to try and embarass him to the rest of us...maybe "closet-satan-lovers.com" or some shit.
-Sleazy would eat him.
-DrinkingModeratelyHardNotAtAllWhatever would try to sell him some spots on a TGP that gets fewer hits than dolphinsex.org, then inform god that there's a whole new way to reach people: p2p praying. Think of the branding god! he'd say...
-RogerV would immediately revolutionize the way god organizes entry to heaven, leading to a 20% increase in the amount of souls allowed in. He would also try to get god to change his name, possibly to "ATMGod" to turn every ATM machine into a mini-church, increasing the amount of people who pray tenfold...He would then try to have a threesome with God, as long as God was a girl, with his girlfriend, only to later tell her "baby god meant nothing to me, she was a cum sponge, you're #1..."
-boneprone would claim to have fucked god already, despite Roger's advances.
-DonovanPhillips would lecture god infinitely on the most trivial bullshit you have ever heard, getting very passionate about it as he goes on and on and on, meanwhile god would nod off. Donovan would also thank god for making sex so great, particularly with his wife, and God would respond "Even I can't believe you're not still a virgin. But you do take damn good pictures."
-VanillaDeville would ask God if her ass really was the most perfect on planet Earth, as god would actually know this and be able to answer. And he would answer yes. Meanwhile Stewie would be informed that in a former life he was Mother Teresa's Grandfather, hence his reward in this life...fucker.
-Juicy would slide up next to God, putting his head in his lap, asking Ramos to take a picture of it, quickly brand it with the NYGigolos .psd layer, then post it to GFY with the message "God is gay, and each of us is therefore gay. He was so tripping ballllllllls with my head in his lap."
-Tassy and Halcyon would each be rewarded with their pink wings upon seeing God, along with pink hair dye that lasts 3x as long and has a flourescent glow to it.
-Franck would immediately bitch to god that he did a sloppy job on Earth, that no one prays, that he's useless and then call him a noob. Franck would then perform a multi-threaded attack on god, in each one listing stats about crime rates rising and poverty increasing, thus proving himself to be correct.
and finally
-FunkyBastard/Kak_Azn/WestHollywoodGayProstitute would tell god he's really enjoying his Ferrari and that his business development plan has reached 100% funding and is ready to launch and that he goes through millions like its nothing. God would reply, "You really are a stupid fuck, you do understand that I'm Omniscient right?" to which kak_azn would reply "stfu surfer, who are you anyway, I'll have you banned"
Ok that's all, I thought this would take 5 minutes and it took 20, enough. Sorry if I missed you, it wasn't done in any order of importance. This bitch took longer than the Tom Cruise Ambush Interview, jesus...
|
