Rusty Trumpets and Such...
 

Fuck I hate mondays! I need help compiling a list of terms and phrases for fucked up sexual maneuvers and positions and such...
I figure you sick fuck's would be good at this shit...

for example...the rusty trumpet is when you get the reach around while having your salad tossed.

the chili dog...spreading shit on a woman's chest and then titty fucking her...shit like that...

Below is a list of a few tricks which might come in handy to all
those blokes wanting to expand their repertoire:

The Teabagging
=============
The all time classic manoeuvre of tapping your cock on a
chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, and
uttering the timeless phrase "Who's your fucking daddy?"

The Houdini
==========
Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come,
then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have.
When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face
and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.

The Angry Dragon
===============
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the
back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up
she'll look like an angry dragon.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
===============================
The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down
the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large
cold bottle of your favourite carbonated drink, making her guzzle
it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create
the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress
your friends.

Dirty Sanchez
============
A time honoured event in which while laying the bone
doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then
pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit
moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is
Dirty Sanchez.

The Donkey Punch
===============
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum,
you stick your dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the
neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's
ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic
experience when you ejaculate.

The Flaming Amazon
=================
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're
screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and
quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire,
then.....Extinguish the flames with your jizz!

The Flying Camel
===============
A personal favourite. As she is lying on her back and you
are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move
forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your
dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You
then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl,
much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.

The Screwnicorn
==============
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and
proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

The Zombie Mask
==============
While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting,
trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you
with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when
you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in
both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie
effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning
like the walking dead.