Who am I?
 

Who am I?

I went to Yale. So did my father and most of my family, however, when I was there I was arrested. I used to drink too much, but now I am sober. If you ask me if I have ever done hard drugs, I will tell you that that is not any of your business and refuse to give an answer. In light of this, you may not find it surprising that my daughters have also been arrested for alcohol related violations. Oh, and my brother?s daughter was just arrested for trying to buy prescription drugs with a fake prescription. Perhaps substance abuse runs in the family, I am not sure.

When I think that the public cannot hear me, I often express my true opinions about people, like that time I called that established reporter, ?A real asshole.?

My family has been big in the Energy industry since before I was born. When terrorists attacked our country, I waved the flag and went after them, just like anyone else would. I received tons of praise for this. I took this opportunity to pass a bunch of laws that opened up Alaska to oil drilling, reduced the safety standards for Nuclear Power plants, reduced the emissions standards for other power plants, subsidized coal mining, and maintained our dependence on foreign sources of fuel. Did I mention that my family has been in the Energy business since before I was born?

I inherited a balanced budget, and it barley took me nine months to create a deficit. My solution to the economy is that if all of you would just spend some more money, we would be all right.

What is really funny, is that MOST of you voted for someone else, but that doesn?t matter because I am here, and you are not.

Because I have the power, and you don?t, I think I WILL decide what you can and cannot do, or see, in your own home. Not only will I make that decision for YOU, I will assemble a small army of prosecutors to go after you if you do anything I find obscene.

All of this is okay, because I gave you $600 in refunded taxes; so you all love me. Imagine how much the big corporations, and all of the wealthy people that make a majority, if not all, of their income off of capital gains, love me. Their tax rates top out at about 28%, but you poor wages earners pay over 33%. But, don?t forget that $600 I gave you!

Hey, BTW, terrorists still pose a serious threat; so don?t lose focus. If you do, I will not be able to bail out Enron while you are looking the other way!

Answer (Backwards): tendiserP er?uoY

That is so fucking true... LOL..
Thanks for the laugh..