Words of Wisdom for a monday morning.......
 

· Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.



· The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.



· The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.



· Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.



· Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.



· Remember, no-one is listening. Until you fart.



· Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.



· Never test the depth of the water with both feet.



· If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and You have their shoes.



· If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.



· Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.



· Have you ever lent someone $20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.



· If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.



· Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.



· Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.



· Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.



· The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.



· A closed mouth gathers no feet.



· There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.



· Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.



· Never miss a good chance to shut up.



· Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.



· The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.



· Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.


:thumbsup :thumbsup

hahahahahahhahaha, BUMP ^^^

thanks JFK, i am really inspired.

Now I am ready to face the battles of Life JFK.
Thanks a lot. :)

WOW dude that's deep stuff :)

Have a safe trip home.

good stuff :thumbsup

Thanks for sharing.

I saw Stephen Wright live on stage one time.... I swear that was the hardest I had ever laughed in my entire life :thumbsup

long read but so true :)

Very nice JFK

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

ive got 2 work on that 1

I know Brad , its right up to here........................and remember
· The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

nice :thumbsup

nice post - so true

You forgot "don't walk behind Rochard's SUV......"

*sigh thanks for the words of wisdom...i was inspired..LOL

Exactly

nice sig :thumbsup